The Fakest Faker of Fake News

Hey, listen, suppose a disease far worse than the coronavirus is set to appear? If so, Donald Trump is doing nothing about it and that pisses me off. What a crappy president he is! He should already have a vaccine for this new thing nobody ever heard of, and another 20,000 ventilators in the national stockpile, and possibly even a treatment by now. Shouldn't he? I mean after all, he's everyone's daddy, right?

This is the thinking of CNN's anchor Anderson Cooper, who lives each day to ferret out some new thing Trump is doing wrong and then make his entire evening news show about that one thing. Sometimes he does it with a stern look behind big, black, trendy glasses, and yet at other times he doesn't need those glasses; that Anderson, he's so quixotic! And often so puzzled, as if he just can't believe how dumb our leaders are -- that is when they are Republicans. I would love an opportunity to ask Anderson some questions that might wipe that sardonic grin off his face.

For example, his older brother committed suicide by jumping out a window and going splat on a Manhattan street while Anderson was away in Washington. Did Anderson see how he was partly, if not mostly, responsible? Had he angered or annoyed his brother in some way? Had they fought recently? Isn't that why Anderson left New York City? How can we be sure? Is there any proof that wasn't the case?  Maybe if Anderson had been home at the time, his poor dead brother would be alive today. In fact, probably he would be. No, he definitely would be, according to people who are familiar with the situation.

So I guess, based on that information, we can conclude that Anderson Cooper caused his brother's death. He has blood on is hands! He more than anyone should have known his brother was depressed, yet he left town anyway. That would certainly be Anderson's spin if he were talking about Donald Trump. And his backup singers -- Gloria Borger, Jeffrey Toobin, David Gergen and Dana Bash -- would loudly chorus their agreement.