What Would Gandhi Eat?

Last September 28 between the hours of 10pm and 7am, I had a heart attack. (Eight healthy months may have passed, but I haven't forgotten.) At the hospital, two different cardiologists advised me to tweak my diet: One suggested I become a strict vegetarian, the other said vegan. Once I got home, my primary care physician endorsed a modified version of either diet, while agreeing that dairy was no friend of mine.

I embarked on a modified vegetarian diet, with no dairy at all, and started to feel great. I lost about five pounds and became the poster child for regularity, a welcome change from my years-long battle with constipation. All was well. In fact all is still well, yet a dear friend of mine (who I love to pieces, really I do) has gotten it into her head that I should change my eating to match hers. She has recently become a ketogenic diet fan and is out to change the world, all with the best of intentions.

But ours is not a one-size-fits-all world, and chances are slim that I will exchange my morning oatmeal with blueberries and dried prunes, lunchtime baked potato, a wide array of fruits and veggies and those luscious pasta pillows called ravioli with slabs of cheese, strips of bacon, sides of beef and all-you-can-eat eggs. It's just not me. Still, I love this friend -- let's call her Keto -- and want to have an open mind, so I've been considering it carefully.

A day ago I discussed all this food business with another friend I also respect and admire, and she's got the added benefit of being a nurse practitioner. Nursie said the ketogenic diet is partial poppycock, and certainly not a healthy choice for "older" people, of which I am already one and will be even moreso as my next birthday looms.

I told Keto what Nursie said, and she replied that Nursie was clearly behind the times, out of touch with the latest research, and not doing her patients any good. The whole thing has caused me to lose my appetite, and now I don't want to eat anything except maybe my own head. (See illustration.)