Times certainly have changed since I screamed bloody murder for hours on end during natural childbirth thirty years ago, causing my bitchy labor room nurse to say, "Get a grip!" (She was immediately sent packing.) Nowadays, according to Diablo Cody, the female director of a new film about a pregnant woman, childbirth is not really as painful as you see in the movies. In fact, she personally gave birth with "no screaming and no comical Lamaze breathing." Instead, after receiving a very civilized epidural, she pushed a few times when her doctor told her to, and out came the baby.
I was jealous, wishing I could start over and be part of the painless-childbirth generation. But then I read about a brand new app called uConsent that lets you tell someone you want to have sex, invented for the modern #MeToo woman who freaks out if a man looks at her funny. To avoid all that time-consuming flirting, you simply text your date beforehand and say whether or not you want to do it with them, and even what, specifically, you want to do, just so nobody is surprised or, God forbid a million times, offended.
This is necessary because, according to the article "An App for Consenting to Sex" (May 1, Wall Street Journal), to at least 40% of today's college students and recent graduates, "undressing, getting a condom or nodding yes" does not mean the lady wants to engage in fornication. Even if she texted yes at 8 p.m. she can still say no at 8:30, if the person smells funny or acts strange or whatever, basically making the app totally worthless. Except of course, to its inventor.
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