Yesterday Melania Trump underwent kidney surgery and I don't really care one bit. I like her, don't misunderstand me. I find her admirable in many ways, except of course her taste in men. But I don't give a hoot about her kidneys, or in fact any of her internal organs, mostly because several of mine are a mess and I've got to devote my time and attention to them. And I would never, ever want them to be the subject of national news, which is why I have never run for office. (That and a million other reasons.)
I doubt that anyone in the country cares about Melania's insides, yet yesterday the hungry news hounds devoted almost the whole day's reporting to them, despite the violent protests in Gaza where dozens of Palestinians died and hundreds more were injured. But here in America, where Advertising is a religion and Sponsors are its Gods, apparently a First Lady's kidney gets higher ratings than a foreign country in turmoil.
Now, onto the poor kidney: It's so unromantic. There are no songs written about it, unlike the heart which is the subject of hundreds, if not thousands, of ballads, and even has its own holiday. You never hear anyone talk about their kidney -- actually we each have two of them and still they get no attention -- unless there's something wrong, sort of like the pancreas. Quick--what does the pancreas do? Or the hypothalamus? I'll bet you had no idea that it is involved in controlling body temperature, thirst, and hunger, and plays a part in sleep and emotional activity. Now you're probably wondering what the thalamus does, which is located right above it. (I know I am.) All I know is that both of them are in the brain, which scientists claim is regulated by the bacteria in our guts. (See illustration.)
See, now you're smarter. Thank Melania.
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| Illustration: Benjamin Arthur for NPR |
I doubt that anyone in the country cares about Melania's insides, yet yesterday the hungry news hounds devoted almost the whole day's reporting to them, despite the violent protests in Gaza where dozens of Palestinians died and hundreds more were injured. But here in America, where Advertising is a religion and Sponsors are its Gods, apparently a First Lady's kidney gets higher ratings than a foreign country in turmoil.
Now, onto the poor kidney: It's so unromantic. There are no songs written about it, unlike the heart which is the subject of hundreds, if not thousands, of ballads, and even has its own holiday. You never hear anyone talk about their kidney -- actually we each have two of them and still they get no attention -- unless there's something wrong, sort of like the pancreas. Quick--what does the pancreas do? Or the hypothalamus? I'll bet you had no idea that it is involved in controlling body temperature, thirst, and hunger, and plays a part in sleep and emotional activity. Now you're probably wondering what the thalamus does, which is located right above it. (I know I am.) All I know is that both of them are in the brain, which scientists claim is regulated by the bacteria in our guts. (See illustration.)
See, now you're smarter. Thank Melania.
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