Rubber Duckies' Lives Matter

We have a swimming pool at our shared vacation home in Rhinebeck, New York. It is there that I keep my two extra-large rubber duckies. They spend most of their time in my clothes closet, safe from forest predators and visiting children, while I am away. Then when I arrive I toss them in the pool and they spend their days and nights there, happily paddling about.

This morning when I went out to the pool I knew immediately that something was wrong. Then I understood: only one ducky was swimming around. I panicked. I suspected foul play. Then I realized that the missing ducky must have gotten stuck in the pool's filter. I rushed over, lifted the cover, and there he was, partially submerged and gasping for air, surrounded by many beetles and one tiny frog who happily hopped to freedom. Phew! That was close.

To me, rubber duckies' lives matter much more than the lives of stuffed animals. While I know in my heart that the lives of all inanimate children's toys should matter equally, I simply don't feel that way and you can't legislate feelings. Sure, teddy bears are cute but you can't take them swimming. I have several of those in Rhinebeck, and they just sit there on the guest beds looking cute, doing nothing day in and day out, whereas the duckies go in the bath and the shower, or even the ocean if you have them tied to you properly. I like them best. Sue me.