Down East High Style

Forget style in this colorful L. L Bean trash-bag.

I can remember reading those fashion DOs and DON'Ts in magazines like Glamour and Seventeen back when I was in high school. But just this morning I read one online and saw that those rules are still popular among that segment of society that believes what you wear matters. Usually those people live in big cities where the competition for jobs and sexual partners is fierce, and the right heel height paired with the wrong skirt length can make or break you forever. Here in Maine, with far fewer people and many of them cousins, it's easier to find and snag a partner no matter how bad you look. As for jobs, there aren't any so no worries. Still, we Mainers do have our own fashion DOs and DONT's, and they are much simpler:

DO mix and match anything from L.L Bean with anything else from  L. L. Bean. This includes boots, shoes, socks, sandals, sandals with socks, shorts, skirts, pants, pants with elastic waists, hats, fleece vests, bulky sweaters, mittens, scarves, down jackets and colorful slickers and windbreakers.

DON'T wear high heels, ever.

DO let your hair go gray if you are female and grow a bushy beard if you are male.

DON'T wear perfume or cologne, instead letting the natural odor of sea life permeate your entire being.

DO put on an extra 15 to 50 pounds for that comfy, down-home look.

DON'T wear makeup. This includes lipstick.

DO sport tattoos and facial piercings specifically aimed at garnering attention by grossing people out.

So, as you can see, being "in style" in Maine is easy-peasy. Just add a lobster bib and you're done!