Ode to the Internet

                         Gordon Studer

No I did not watch last night's Grammy awards show. In fact, the only way I knew it was being broadcast was when one of my Facebook friends mentioned it in the little chat box while we were playing Words With Friends. I never watch those outlandish awards shows, the Oscars being the one exception since there still seems to be a glimmer of homage to the arts involved. But the others are all about who's wearing what wild and crazy outfit, and how loud and nutty they can make the production numbers. Besides, ever since Joan Rivers died the so-called "red carpet" has lost its appeal. (Oh grow up---you know you thought it but she said it!)

Ever since the birth of the Internet it's been a slow, steady downward slide for TV, that once-dominant time-waster of yore. Now even the weather reports are better online, with 10-day forecasts, hour by hour, for every city you can name. As for the news, ex-anchor Brian Williams hammered the last nail in that coffin with his outlandish storytelling floating to the surface, just like that dead body he allegedly saw during Hurricane Katrina. (It's over for those pretty-boys, that's clear.) But the Internet--now there's something you can trust. Sure there's a a lot of misinformation drifting around, but it's easily checked on several truth-telling websites. And just the enormous library of facts helps you separate fact from fiction.

This morning, determined to eventually kick my four-pills-a-day habit, I searched "best breakfast high blood pressure" and was presented with half a dozen websites, each showing a variety of menus calculated to lower my numbers. Just to compare I turned on the TV and was assaulted by commercials for a myriad of pills and potions all promising to do something good unless they kill you. I opted for a bowl of fruit with plain yogurt and chopped walnuts, then checked my BP stats and found them acceptable by most standards. Now I can't wait for lunch.