The Truth About Cataract Surgery

First of all, having cataract surgery does not hurt. Not even a little. In fact, the whole experience was sort of fun, at least with the team of doctors I had. It felt like I had been abducted by aliens and brought aboard their spaceship for observation and study. That may have had to do with the enormous quantities of sedatives, tranquilizers and anesthetics being dumped, pumped and injected into my body through a variety of tubes, drips and needles. Whatever it was, it made me laugh.

It was quick, taking only about 15 minutes for the actual surgical procedure. Including all the preparations beforehand and recovery after, from start to finish I was in and out in an hour and a half, ready for a hearty breakfast at Denny's. (Okay so they are racists, but there it was and I hadn't eaten since last night, sue me.)

Two or three hours post-op is a different story. Your eye is slammed shut, still sleeping from all the drugs, they told me. It oozes ointment. You're woozy and sort of headachey. When your eye finally starts to open, things get even weirder. It's been super-dilated so things are blurry, and you have double or maybe triple vision and colors are just wrong, there's no other word for it.

I am excited to see how things look when my eye calms down and the new lens which was installed after the cloudy lens was removed starts functioning properly. The word on the street is that I will no longer need glasses, which I have worn since I was in 7th grade. This I gotta see.