My Favorite Columnist

We have the New York Times delivered to our home each Sunday, and each week I do the crossword puzzle and never even look at the rest of the paper. Heck, I never even see what's on the cover of the magazine, I just flip to the puzzle page and keep it there. Then when it's done I throw the whole damn thing into the recycle bin. I simply don't care to know what other people I have never met are thinking, writing, or even doing. And that Maureen Dowd-- she's a big deal over at the Times but her writing makes me nauseous.

So it's sort of crazy that here I am writing a blog and getting upset when there are fewer readers than I would wish. But then, why would anyone want to read what I write? One reason is that it's a blog, so I have no boss and make no money; part of the problem with the pros is that the things they write must pass muster with The Powers That Be.  And once published they are A, often full of grammatical errors (which really pisses me off) and B, heavily edited for content and thus something less than heartfelt.

Then there are the so-called "puff pieces," always about moronic topics like how to decorate your dorm room on less than $500 dollars or how to tell that your relationship is in trouble or seven foods never, ever to feed your dog, all things you already know. And I can't read the inane ramblings of political pundits because it's all just hot air and none of it pertinent to my life. Elections are mostly contests between inflated egomaniacs battling for the limelight, and how can we take them seriously when Mike Huckabee and Sarah Palin are considering a run for president but a seasoned pro like Mitt Romney is not?

Almost worse are those "human interest" stories that break your heart, or at least mine, which is problematic since I'm already hanging on by a thread emotionally most of the time. Like one I read today about a 51-year-old man in Ireland who was swept out to sea by a rogue wave while he was spreading his recently deceased sister's ashes into the ocean as his three young nieces stood by and could do nothing to save him. Is God a sadist or what?

I do enjoy reading my own words though, and some of my posts written years ago are often very funny and still crack me up. As for other columnists, they bore me.