Cat Fight in 2016?

Jan announces retirement...

Today I did something I almost never do. I actually read the newspaper. And this is what I learned:

Authorities in Vietnam and China are pissed off at Malaysia and venting their anger because nobody can find that missing airliner that went off the radar five days ago. All that fighting should help.

Israel has voted to make the ultraorthodox weirdos, I mean Jewish men who live there join the army just like all the other Israeli citizens who turn 18. Until now they were allowed to skip it because they're so busy reading the Torah all day, and that's a whole lot cushier job. Naturally the law is being challenged by the Torah-readers.

The Republican Governor of Arizona has announced she will not run for re-election, despite being very popular in her state. Nobody knows what Jan Brewer is planning to do next, although many say it will be in politics. Perhaps run for president in 2016? (Cat fight!)

The 19-year-old mall shooter in Maryland who killed several people in January had no apparent motive, and so naturally he has been deemed mentally ill. He did say he had been hearing voices and was fixated on the Columbine shootings.

An explosion yesterday that caused two buildings to collapse in East Harlem killed three people and injured dozens more, yet I have not seen anything about it on TV or online. Paging Al Sharpton...

....and Hillary reacts to the news.

Some researchers at the University of California and Yale University with nothing much on their plates have studied Facebook posts and decided that "moods are contagious" on that website. If seems that if your friends post upbeat messages, then you'll feel better too. Happiness is more contagious than depression, thank goodness.

Another politician turns out to be a scumbag. The former Utah Attorney General traded political favors for campaign contributions during his time at the State house, back in 2009.

A young teen who died nine months after being hit in the head with a teargas canister during anti-government demonstrations in Turkey has got the masses up in arms again.

There was more, none of it good. I may have to go read Facebook just to pick up my spirits.