What Hath God Wrought?

In a shocking turn of events, a group of angry Malaysians demonstrated outside of God's pearly-gated community yesterday. Demanding He "tell the truth" and promising no retaliation, relatives of the passengers on the missing airline MH370 swore, in several languages, that there were "no strings attached." Neither God nor any of his disciples were available for comment, and thus far calls to His office have not been returned as the whole lot of them are out seeing "Noah."