Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Politics in a Nutshell

Even though everyone is pissed at Obama for ruining the economy and ramming that health care bill down our throats and vacationing among the elite on Martha's Vineyard, he still might get another four years when you consider the opposition. The whole lot of them on the other team are losers.

Superstar Michele Bachmann doesn't stand a chance for two obvious reasons. First of all, her fingernails are ridiculously long and always noticeably manicured in very showy colors, and she tosses her hands around just so we can see them. Next, her hair is much too straight and much too shiny. She must spend hundreds on hair products, not to mention hours getting it fixed just so. Is that who we want in the White House? I think not.

As for the rest of them, oh please. Rick Perry's accent is far too strong and a tad phony if you ask me. And no matter how smart they are, those Texans just sound stupid. (All southerners do, for that matter.) Ron Paul has some good ideas, but face it--he looks like a puppet on a string, his head and arms are all floppy--he's simply too gangly to be president. Romney's okay if you like Mormons, but that full head of hair at his age makes me suspicious that he's joined the Hair Club for Men, like my old editor John Montorio who was well on his way to bald 30 years ago and today could be one of the original Beatles. Jon Huntsman's father was a billionaire, so he's not even worth considering since he knows nothing of pain and suffering. Besides, what's with spelling "John" that way? How pretentious. Herman Cain has some good ideas but nobody's going to vote for another black guy after the one we have now screwed up so bad, so it's goodbye Herman--too bad, so sad. Newt Gingrich, once a shining star, now seems sort of ditzy and out of it, and besides, he has clearly let himself go, obesity-wise. As for the others I'm forgetting, they are obviously not memorable enough to go further than that last debate.

That leaves Hillary, but does she have the balls to oppose Obama? If not, maybe when she goes in for her next eye-job or jowl-lift she could get a pair; these days, anything is possible. (Just ask Chaz Bono.)

6 comments:

  1. Oh God please NOT Hillary. She and her husband should have been in jail a long time ago. I was so glad Obama beat her out since anyone but her (last election) would have been better , and is. I am not saying this because I am a Democrat, actually I am a Republican and proud of it. Last election there were too many idiots running on that ticket. Well, there is no way in hell Palin was going to get my vote, directly or indirectly.

    Why do you keep picking on Obama? You do know that Congress is screwing it up not him. We do not live in the medieval days, where the King or Queen ruled. We have a bunch of idiots in Congress not letting anything go through, no matter who is in charge. If she, (Hillary) were in office (God forbid), nothing would have been accomplished because Congress will not let it. Everyone complains but does not do anything. Just complains. Look who is screwing it up and vote those Congress people out.

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  2. what's with anonymous? deneb says: if you are afraid to post your name with your comment then you shouldn't post your comment.

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  3. this is hysterical!

    It is fun to see you pinpoint the fatal flaws of each candidate. Huntsman's name . . .Bachman's nails . .. Gingrich's obesity . . . Ron Paul's gangliness . . .

    I just love reading what you see. It is like having an xray machine to get to the essential!

    Love you and miss you honey

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  4. Anyone who thinks Obama ruined the economy has just not been paying attention for the past 10 years or so.

    And anyone who thinks getting healthcare for more people is a bad thing is a bad American. Yes, we can disagree on how that is done, but anyone who thinks only rich people deserve healthcare is scum.

    And why shouldn't Obama have a vacation? He's still way below the number of vacation days taken by the previous president. And the job has gotta suck. He deserves a vacation like anyone else.

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  5. P.S. - You skipped Santorum! C'mon, he's the easiest one to find fault with!

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  6. I'm not picking on Obama in this post, so read it again. I am just reporting what is out there in the press, mainstream media included.

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