I gotta say, I'm getting pretty sick of all your putdowns of baby boomers online. Let's try to remember that our generation brought you all the music of every TV car commercial, and most of the other ones too. We brought you marijuana. Hey, we invented long hair on men! (Okay so maybe Jesus did but I'm not sure there even was a Jesus so I'm sticking with Gregg Allman.) We gave you the Beatles, whose music you've been stealing ever since. And let's face it, we made vegetarianism cool and elevated the lowly avocado to near godlike status, enabling your lemming-like addiction to "avocado toast," now available at Dunkin' and just about everywhere else.
Which is why I was annoyed by an article I read listing the "Top 40 Worst Things Baby Boomers Still Do," or something like that. First up was Crocs. Supposedly they are so ugly and offensive to the eye that no amount of comfort they afford is worth it.
As the owner of three pairs of Crocs -- one original, one fleece-lined and one leopard-print flats that don't look like Crocs but are -- I take this insult personally. And I'd like to respond by saying that no pair of shoes could ever match the ugliness and nauseating quality of those snot-like septum rings you people wear hanging out of your noses, usually with little balls at the end of them. They are so gross, how can you ever look in the mirror? I feel sorry for your parents and thank God every day that my beautiful son has not desecrated his handsome face with such hideousness. (And he's 35.)
Then there are the giant holes in the knees of your jeans that you actually pay extra for! They are ridiculous, especially here in Maine where it gets to be minus 7 degrees. Oh yeah, the trendy types -- and aren't they all -- walk around in those and you can actually see the snow falling inside the pants! Frostbitten knees, how cozy.
Don't get me started on the whole gender, transgender, fluid gender thing. Just shut up about the Crocs.
No comments:
Post a Comment