I usually don't answer the phone when the caller I.D. is unknown to me, but this time it said "U.S. Postal Service" so I did, thinking it might have something to do with an order I am expecting. But no, it wasn't that, although it really was an employee calling from a local post office. It seems they had received a very large delivery of flat cardboard boxes addressed to my house. There were 250 of them, the kind you use for Priority Mail, and he was calling to make sure we wanted them before they drove over with them.
Clueless about the whole thing, I said that no, we hadn't ordered any flat boxes marked Priority Mail or anything else -- who would and what for -- and was this a joke? The man assured me it was no joke, and explained that he was calling because it seemed odd to everyone down at the post office too. I asked who had sent them, and he hemmed and hawed before saying, "Well, that's another thing -- the sender's name is kind of, well, inappropriate language."
After assuring him I was no delicate flower and could handle it, he told me the sender was named Huge Erection. That was the name on the order. And somehow it had gone through with that name, and 250 boxes in bundles of 25 had made their way to the Freeport Post Office for delivery to my home.
I said in no uncertain terms that I do not know anyone named Huge Erection, in fact have never known anyone with that name, and in all honesty I hadn't ever really seen what I thought was a huge erection in my whole life. Some had been larger than others, to be sure, but none had ever seemed downright huge. We both had a good laugh over that one and he said he understood, and was sorry to bother me, and confessed that despite it being some sort of a prank, nevertheless he would have to spend the next several hours "processing" the return of the boxes.
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