Saturday, February 27, 2021

Black Hair Matters


Venus of Willendorf: Big boobs, braided hair.

Fact: America feels guilty about slavery. So to make up for it, black people can now get away with murder, literally (O.J. Simpson) and figuratively (all those Black Lives Matter signs on the lawns of white people).

Not a celebrity.

The latest example is something called "blackfishing," which means white people who try to look black online, for God knows what reason, I guess being black is "in" these days. A model named Amelia Gray Hamlin, the daughter of celebrities Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna, is being called out and CANCELLED online for posting a photo of herself on Instagram wherein she appears darker-skinned than usual. She also, horror of horror, has "big lips," which apparently blacks consider to be theirs alone, despite the common habit of Hollywood stars (like Amelia's mother) and plain old rich ladies getting injections to puff up their lips, which is supposedly sexy.

Making matters worse, Amelia is seen wearing her hair in a braid, which some claim is a hairstyle "invented by blacks." Really, someone should tell the Venus of Willendorf: ("The oldest evidence of hair braiding goes back about 30,000 years: the Venus of Willendorf, a female figurine estimated to have been made around 28,000 – 25,000 BCE, is depicted with braids in its hair.") 

"Blackfishing" is considered to be a tremendous infraction that pisses off black women who are not at all bothered by "whitefishing," which is when celebrities like Beyonce (and non-celebrities) dye their hair blonde, or Michelle Obama and just about every woman of color on TV straighten their naturally kinky locks.  

Hello fairness? Is anybody home?

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