When Gay Meant Happy

Now that's a wedding cake!

I have gotten married two times. Neither time did I indulge in a ritualistic wedding costing many thousands of dollars for fancy invitations, a fancy reception venue, fancy florists, fancy musicians, fancy caterers, and all the rest of the fancy hoopla that has nothing to do with either being married or staying married and only to do with impressing other people with how much money I have access to, so it stands to reason that I also did not have a fancy, multi-tiered wedding cake baked by a fancy baker.

But if I had gone ahead and done all that and chosen a fancy baker to make me a fancy cake, and that baker refused to make one for me because I am a Jew, I can assure you that I would not have gone and sued the baker for hating my people. But that's exactly what the two gay men did who started all this business with the wedding cake baker currently being debated by our esteemed Supreme Court justices, like they have nothing better to adjudicate.

There are other options besides litigation if things don't go your way. For example, I would have cursed out that baker, and possibly knocked over a cake or two on my way out, and warned all my Jewish friends about that baker, and found another baker who likes Jews and moved on. After all, life is short, and getting shorter every minute.

This makes me wonder why gays are so pissed off all the time. That whole bathroom thing about where they're going to pee, and now the wedding cake thing, makes me worry about them. Are they getting enough protein? Maybe it's a calcium deficiency. Whatever it is, they need to chill out and live their lives without making the fact that they prefer having sex with other men, or other women, the only thing they think about, talk about, write about and protest about. Yes, gay people -- be gay! Just try to remember the word's original meaning and lighten up.