A Trans Rant

I was just reading a movie review in today's Wall Street Journal that described the female lead as "an actor of great talent." That got me scratching my head wondering why she couldn't be called an "actress." Since when is being identified as female a bad thing?

So I Googled the word "actress" and landed at the Wikipedia entry for "actor," wherein it was stated that an actor plays a role on a stage or in a movie, blah, blah, blah, and that female actors are called "actresses." There was a quote from Whoopi Goldberg (who I always thought was neither) saying, "An actress can only play a woman. I'm an actor – I can play anything." Well Whoopi, here's a question for you: Can you play a thin Caucasian person with decent taste in clothes and non-clownish hair who doesn't have a big mouth that constantly utters insults and instead coos sweet nothings? Try it sometime.

The iconic drag queen RuPaul.

This whole transgender thing is ridiculous bullshit. News flash for all you people hoping to change teams: Women menstruate! Once a month, for anywhere from three to eight days, they bleed from their vaginas! Can you do that, even with that make-believe one the doctors create for you out of God-knows-what? And there's more: In addition to wearing nail polish and makeup and high heels, females give birth to babies that have grown inside their uteruses for nine months. Can you do that? What's that, you have no uterus? Oh, sorry. Well then, you are a man. A male. A male member of the species.

Get over it. In fact, embrace it! Love yourself! Be happy that when you go camping you can pee standing up and not have to squat in the bushes and possibly have bugs crawl up inside that very vagina you don't have. There are other perks too, like going topless anywhere you want on a hot day, but that peeing-standing-up thing is definitely high on the list. And BTW, you can still wear the makeup and the nail polish and the high heels whenever the mood strikes, just ask RuPaul:

"RuPaul is noted among drag queens for his indifference toward the gender-specific pronouns used to address him—both "he" and "she" have been deemed acceptable, as stated in his autobiography: 'You can call me he. You can call me she. You can call me Regis and Kathie Lee; I don't care! Just as long as you call me.' RuPaul has also played men in a number of roles, and makes public appearances both in and out of drag."