The War Against Men

In light of the current climate condemning any sign of the natural sexual attraction between men and women that has thus far fueled the growth of our species, we may see an uptick in the number of men seeking transgender surgery in the coming months. And really, who could blame them? These days, an innocent pat on the back or an appreciative glance could land a fellow in some very hot water.

Earlier today I heard this story on our local radio news: Portland police are "looking for, and hoping to question" a man dressed as Santa who spoke to a woman and her 6-year-old daughter inside a Walmart store. He was not employed by the store but was simply dressed the part. His offense was approaching the child, handing her a candy cane and wishing her a Merry Christmas, and saying, "Good girls get candy, bad girls get jewelry." (I'm hoping the child was less traumatized than her mother, who was the one who called the police.)

Are we approaching the day when simply harboring a penis in one's pants will be considered an affront to women? Just in case, I suggest selling any shares of Viagra stock you may own as soon as possible.