What I Might Have Said

I just got a call from this guy.

It is neither snowing nor raining nor freezing so I have to get out there and go for a walk before I lose the impetus, which means I won't be writing a post this morning. Here are some of the ideas I was toying with if I were going to write one, so you can just use your imagination:

1. How last year our doofus government wasted $190,000 to study worm-digested compost, $856,000 training mountain lions to use treadmills, $10,000 for a children's theater production of "Zombie in Love," $46,000 for a snowmobile competition and $414,000 updating an Army recruiting video game already $25 million over budget, and thus I am reluctant to mail in my taxes which are due tomorrow.

2. How living in the past is not living at all, and posting photos of yourself online when you you were younger and better-looking contributes to the fantasy land where most average people live.

3. Describing a nightmare I had last night that involved a vicious, wild animal loose inside my home and me sneaking from room to room to get away from it.

4. A review of an old movie ("Moonstruck") I recently watched on Netflix starring Cher when she was stunningly beautiful, back before all her freakish plastic surgery.

5. How robots are making more phone calls these days and they are just as rude as humans. One of them called a few minutes ago to remind me of an upcoming appointment, and it is not even 8:30 in the morning! That is simply too early to be bothering someone at home, especially if you are not a real person.