Get Ready for a Bumpy Ride

Like jalopies that eventually stop running and rust into oblivion, older people fall apart. It's just a fact of life: Bones decay, organs give out, eyes cloud over. By the time you are in your sixties everyone you know, including yourself, is having something repaired, replaced, tuned up or chopped off, either this week, next month, or whenever their health insurance will pay. Luckily we have car mechanics, oops I mean surgeons, to do the job and get us back on the road in no time.

This is great news, except that these skilled craftsmen are rarely honest in telling you how awful you will feel following their fix. To sell their services they insist it's all a piece of cake, promising you'll feel great right away, and in fact you may not even need anything more than a few Tylenol for pain. All I can say about that is, "Hah!"

Sure, go ahead and have that surgery and in time things will surely get better. But rest assured the docs will sugar-coat the whole experience, so read up beforehand about the Hell you will find yourself in afterwards.