The Final Solution

This morning I microwaved my cats. I just could not take them anymore. My entire life had become nothing more than feeding them, changing the litter, scooping the litter, buying the food and the litter, taking them to the vet, giving them flea medications and having them cry constantly to either be let in or let out. Then there was the cost of pet sitters anytime we wanted to go anywhere, which we hardly ever do because it's hard to find any pet sitters.

A whole other problem was how much pet hair was everywhere, including in my mouth every time I ate. And forget going to the bathroom alone, I always had an animal sitting on my lap doing that weird kneading thing which totally freaks me out. And all my clothes are ruined, with little pulled threads poking out of everything from their damn claws. And I have not slept past 5:30 in the morning for a million years, what with the whining and the jumping on my chest and pulling at my hair and licking my face, and that's not even counting all the times my husband does that.