Squirrels in the Ceiling

While I've heard of "bats in the belfry" all my life, and have actually been accused of having some from time to time, never had I heard of "squirrels in the ceiling" until recently. Unlike the bats they are not metaphorical and can be quite annoying.

Just what goes on here when we are gone?

It's not news that an old house in the country can be a challenge. Last year we had two non-metaphorical bats in the mud room -- it's more like a den, really, and not a belfry at all, but still, there were the bats. To be honest, I wasn't there when they barged in and only heard about the horror of it, in excruciating detail, from our housemates who were held hostage by them for several hours. But that's another story, and not even mine. Right now the squirrel or squirrels -- Mitch insists only one remains but I am pretty sure I hear two sets of feet -- running around above the ceiling in the dining room, despite the $900 paid to an exterminator (adding insult to injury) are pissing me off.

I have so many questions for them. Like why are they inside on a day like this? The sun is shining, they should go outside and get some fresh air, after all they've been cooped up in here for months. There are woods and deer and tons of black walnuts outside. What is so interesting above our dining room? And yet there they remain, scratching, scratching, always the scratching. And the random black walnuts that drop from the pockets of jackets hanging in the closet, or nestled among the towels on the bathroom shelf, or hidden under a bed pillow, letting us know the critters don't just stay in the walls but come out and have their run of the place when we are gone, are driving me crazy.

One can safely surmise that squirrels in the ceiling, if left unchecked, may eventually lead to bats in the belfry.