Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Open Letter to Jeb Bush

Dear Jeb:

I heard yesterday that you are considering running for president in 2016. As someone who likes you a lot and thinks you would do a great job, I beg you: Don't do it!

Right now you have a nice life, with a wonderful wife, great kids, and even two adorable grandchildren. Your parents are still alive but certainly not for long; why not enjoy them while you can? Hang out with them at one of their nice homes. Or heck, why not go skydiving with your Dad? Or maybe clear some brush down in Crawford with your brother, that sounds like a good time too.

And let's remember, the press will destroy you no matter what. You could be Jesus Christ risen from the dead, but if you're not a Democrat you are dirt! They are already salivating over the possibility of sinking their fangs into another Bush. (I recently heard several of them saying that you had "put on a lot of weight.") And too, there's Hillary and Bill--nobody can accuse either one of them of playing fair. Do you want to walk around with a target on your back?

Please Jeb, just live out your nice life as a happy family man with tons of money. And tell George and Laura we still miss them and think of them often.

Love, Andrea (and Mitch, I'm sure he would agree)

P.S.: You have porked up quite a bit if I may say, and those campaign stops at all the state fairs with the barbecued ribs and all the rest won't help. How is your cholesterol these days?

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