The Blonde Report

The following statements are true and unexpurgated--not that the expurgated version would be any different. Anyway, exactly eight days ago I became a blonde, just for the heck of it. It was time for a change, and since I could get one while remaining completely awake and with no stitches afterwards, I plunked down my 50 bucks and told the stylist to just "bleach the hell out of it." No cut; just color.

Besides that one thing I have not changed myself in any way. I have not started dressing better--in fact probably a little worse since my husband was gone almost all last week and I hardly even look in the mirror when he is. I spent several days in my studio, running out in my painting clothes to pick up the mail, buy cat food, go to the bank, etc. And here is what I can report: I was treated a whole lot better by the male population! Doors that normally slam in my face were held open, typically mute Mainers said hello and actually smiled at me, more eye contact was made by just about everyone, and one man even offered to pump my gas on a particularly cold day. Yesterday at Ace Hardware, two different salesmen competed to show me where to find the paint thinner and nails, even though I said I knew where they were. (Still, one of them escorted me all the way to the back of the store to the nail department, like I might not have been able to find it myself.)

So, as my sister-in-law Jackie would so aptly put it, there you have it. Draw your own conclusions.