Film Review: AVATAR

I thought I had seen dumb movies before, but now I see I was kidding myself. As I write this, a movie that redefines the genre is playing out before my eyes. Fortunately I am in the comfort of my own home, in fact lying on the living room couch, while the inanity unfolds on the TV screen--thank you, Blockbuster--and not stuck in some movie theater. I can move about at will, and get to the bathroom pronto if the nausea gets too bad.

Against my better judgement, and because of marital vows taken 26 years ago, I am watching "Avatar" to appease my husband. Mitch wanted to see it when it first came out several years ago and I refused, but lest you judge me too harshly I want to point out that they let married folks see movies on their own in most theaters, but he didn't want to. Anyway, here we are, he finally got his wish.

Words like "flux vortex" and "unobtanium" and "floating mountains" are bombarding my brain, trying to get in, but I won't let them. There are big blue people with flat noses and very long tails. Sigourney Weaver looks really bad in this movie, although I once saw her in person at the Frick Museum in New York City and she had no makeup on and she looked even worse. Anyway, the plot is King Kong meets Jurassic Park meets Lost meets The Wizard of Oz, but not as good as any of them. (I absolutely love King Kong, all three versions in fact. It may be my favorite movie of all time.)

I just had to take some Pepto-Bismol. It's that awful. And the worst thing about it is that 150 years into the future, which is when this movie is set, people still smoke cigarettes! That seems silly, and almost harder to believe than the floating mountains and the tails. Now the blue people are kissing, and believe it or not, they do it the same way on Pandora as here on Earth. Another oddity.