Putting the Merry in Christmas

Cardinal, Clumsy Cook Turkey, Horse and Pig Heads. Latex, unisex.

I rarely use this space for a public service announcement, but once in a great while something deserves a wide audience. The Archie McPhee Catalog is such a thing. Nowhere will you find a better example of the depths to which humanity is sinking, has sunk or will sink. I received my copy of the catalog a few weeks ago and refer to it often, mostly whenever I'm feeling stupid and ineffectual. It boosts my self-esteem instantly, just by not ordering anything from it. A few examples follow.

World's Largest Coffee Cup $47.50
Holds 20 cups. White porcelain, 6 x 10 inches.

Instant Underpants $3.50
Fits most adults. See photo, right.

Emergency Yodel Button $12.50
AAA batteries not included.

Bacon Flavored Toothpaste $4.50  
Also available in soap, floss, lip balm, frosting, mints, hard candy, candy canes and a wallet!

Clumsy Cook Turkey Mask $34.95 
Latex, fits most adults. See photo above.

Abraham Lincoln Bandages $4.95
20 sterile strips. What else can one say?

Mustache Ice Cube Tray $9.00
Makes 8 cubes. Can also be used as candy mold.

Inflatable Unicorn Horn $8.00 
Comes with plastic strap, 11 inches.

Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats $5.00
Vinyl, 5 inches. See photo, right, 
for proof of how much cats love this!

If this is your kind of fun, visit www.mcphee.com.
You can thank me later.