This morning I received some spam in my AOL mailbox that had as its subject, "So Hard You Can Crack an Egg On It." The sender's name was "penisenlarger" which is how I knew the message was not about ceramic flooring. Of course I didn't open it, thereby letting God-knows-what viruses into my computer and maybe even my home, but still, it got me wondering: Is hardness to the point of being able to crack an egg on one's penis a sought-after attribute of many men? Because if you ask me, that sounds like it would be too hard to be of any use to anyone, except maybe a cook at an IHOP. Anyway, just for the record, I, like most women, do not have penis envy, be it hard, soft or whatever. Instead, I pity men saddled with such a heavy burden.
Face it: Anthony Weiner exposed the awful truth we already suspected--that every man, be he powerful or power hungry, is obsessed with his penis. Naturally I can only speak about the men I have known personally, and while that's not every man, it's somewhere in the thousands. In addition, I watch TV and see movies and surf the Internet, gathering evidence that reinforces my hypothesis. I think if you asked any man to name his favorite body part, he would say "my penis" right off the bat. Speaking as a woman who knows from other women that we all don't think it's as big a deal as they do, it's downright silly of them, in this time of political unrest and environmental degradation, to waste so much valuable--and diminishing--brain space on such a little--yes, you heard me, little--organ.
It is a burdensome part, it's true. I find the graceful curves and contours of the corresponding area of women to be far more representative of the strength and resilience that is the ideal in both men and women. Men are obsessed with their penises, but often it's because they fear injury and are acutely aware of being vulnerable down there.
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