Check the Fridge for Instant Gratification

Okay, I admit it: I'm out of the loop. One thing in particular that has me mystified is Black Friday.

First of all, that name is such a bummer; it sounds like it's something horrendous and surely not a cause for celebration, like maybe when much of the population is urged to stay indoors to avoid exposure to The Plague. Or perhaps it's the last chance for scofflaws to pay overdue taxes before public flogging, or maybe it's the actual day of the public flogging. Next, Black Friday refers to the practice of shopping for things that are marked-up for a little bit less than usual but are still way overpriced, like huge plastic toys that will clutter our landfills a few months from now and appliances that one might not need but will buy only because they are discounted. And lastly, history shows us that people have died under the trampling hordes eager to save a few bucks, and that seems like a lowly way to die, and certainly not a path to Heaven.

It's all bad, or at least it seems so to me. So I was shocked when I read in today's paper about a New Jersey woman who laments the loss of her "family tradition" of going shopping on Black Friday with her mother. "It is bittersweet, but these days it doesn't pay to wait in line when you can sit in your PJs and shop online for the same deals." One wonders if her mother will sleep over. A different lady, this one in Illinois, says that online shopping means you "miss out on all the fun." She plans to get up at three in the morning, as she has for the last decade, skip work and get out to the mall for what she calls the "instant gratification" of scoring a deal.

Instant gratification is my middle name and shopping is not involved. Don't these people know about pie?