Joe Biden Breaks His First Promise

Joe Biden and the Pope have nothing to do with this post.

Since waking up this morning, I have learned so much. None of it is stuff I needed to know but now do, thanks to the Internet. No wonder I can't remember why I went upstairs or what I wanted in the kitchen or what day it is -- there's too much trash in my brain. I blame myself, since I didn't have to log on to my computer over breakfast. But like almost every American who lives near an electrical outlet, I am addicted. I need help. Until I get it I am powerless (ha ha) to do anything about it. So now I know:

A 36-year-old rock climber proposed to his girlfriend at the top of a mountain in California. She said yes. he said it was the happiest day of his life. Then he left her to ascend further on a training climb, and fell to his death. Ouch! After reading this I learned it happened in 2014, but for the purposes of selling advertising it was pushed in my face today, in 2020.

"Five restaurants In Bar Harbor, Maine are closing temporarily due to coronavirus." So said the headline of a story on a local news station website. It listed which ones they are and there were six of them. WTF? The second paragraph of the story said, "The seven restaurants plan to re-open soon." And we are supposed to trust the news?

You (or I, or anyone) could get a blood clot in our leg that could cause a stroke or heart attack if we don't start taking a certain drug, I forget which one. The ad also suggested we call our doctor.

President-elect Joe Biden is "putting together a task force to look into the coronavirus." Huh? The virus has been here since last January, by now everyone knows what to do about it, and Joe is going to put together a team to examine it starting next January? During the campaign I'm pretty sure he said that he was going to "get rid of coronavirus." He's not even in office yet and already he's breaking promises.

Tom Brady recently suffered "the biggest setback of his career." (I didn't click.)

That's it. My breakfast was quite small and so I closed my laptop and played with my cat for awhile. That's all I know for now.

Joe Biden: Empty Calories

Looking for nourishment where there is none.

Shown above is a scene from The Pianist that is etched into my brain. The film recounts the fatal unraveling of an upscale Jewish family living in Poland during the Holocaust. Eventually, as they are being marched off to the death camps through the streets of Warsaw, hungry and stripped of their dignity and all belongings, they stop to rest. Pulling from his coat pocket some money that will soon be worthless, the father buys a small caramel candy from a street urchin. Cutting it into six pieces, he hands one to each of his four children and his wife and keeps one for himself. The pieces are tiny but each of them savors their share as if it were a steak dinner. 

This is how the Democrats are behaving regarding Joe Biden, their newly elected, slightly demented, underperforming, plagiaristic, Botoxed, gaffe-prone and dishonest future president. Based on the all the hoopla you'd think he actually has something going for him. But no, he's just one-sixth of a caramel, devoid of nutrition and gone in seconds.

The New Wicked Witch

It's shocking to me how many friends have posted online, either on Facebook or Instagram, or sent me an email, celebrating the fact that our next president is a doddering old fool who can't tell his right hand from a toilet seat but at least he isn't Donald Trump, assuming I share their joy. They assume this since I have remained somewhat under the radar about my political leanings, although I have consistently shared how much I despise my husband's radical loony left family who are pretty much all assholes, and extremely fat ones at that, and I hate fat people, who doesn't. 

The people who are happy that Trump lost don't seem to understand so many things. First, that fully half the country, their fellow Americans, love the man and are sad that he will be gone. Next, that this election was far from clean, albeit the crafty Dems -- the same ones who concocted the Russian collusion story,  rammed through baseless impeachment proceedings and criticized him mercilessly about everything from his hair to his skin color to his family to his wife, and by the way there has never been a more beautiful or gracious woman to hold the title of First Lady -- covered their tracks well and will likely get away with their chicanery. And last, that had the despicable propagandizing media not dogged him from day one, his administration, which accomplished much good despite the yapping at his heels every minute, could have done so much more.

That's not to say I don't find Trump boorish, narcissistic and overly self-indulgent. These are qualities everyone has to some degree, but not all of us are in the public eye so we can get away with being obnoxious offstage, in fact backstage, in a dark corner of the theater where only the mice can see us misbehaving.  

But now lots of people are misbehaving out in public, right there in the glow of the footlights. Honking horns, waving flags, clanging pots and pans, shouting "Ding dong the witch is dead!" I'd be careful, though, because there's a new witch in town, and pretty soon she'll be more in your face than she is now, mark my words.

Film Review, Take Two: ARGO

Ben Affleck, head and shoulders above the rest on a Tehran street.

Last night I convinced my husband to refrain from watching the chorus of bloviating idiots who spew their copycat opinions on TV, passing them off as "news." Instead we settled in to ARGO, a movie we first saw eight years ago and only half-remembered. The second viewing was even better than the first.

Ben Affleck directed this tense, often funny film based on the true story of the hostages taken by Iranian militants who stormed our embassy in Tehran in 1979, seeking revenge for President Jimmy Carter giving asylum to their hated leader, the Shah. While 66 people were taken during the melee, six Americans were able to escape and hide out at the Canadian Embassy. To get them out of Iran before they are discovered, specialist and former CIA agent Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck) was called in to do the job.

Based on a book about the ordeal written by the real-life Tony Mendez, this is movie-making at its best. Authentic footage of the crazed mobs overtaking the streets of Tehran are interwoven with the make-believe mobs of extras created on a Hollywood set. It's almost impossible to tell the difference. Meanwhile, the movie industry as reflected by an ex-CIA officer-turned-makeup artist (John Goodman) and a has-been film producer (Alan Arkin), both hired to make a fake movie supposedly set in Iran in order to rescue the six hostages, stands in sharp comedic contrast to the horror of the Iranian chaos.

It's a scary, edgy thriller with equal amounts of pathos and laugh-out-loud moments. Best of all, there's no Donald Trump, no Joe Biden and no Nancy Pelosi, or any of the other backstabbing, cheating, lying, lowdown politicians currently jockeying for position to rule our world. What a welcome relief from reality.

That'll Be the Day

My husband has a particularly gross, morbidly obese cousin whose personality is even uglier than her copious rolls fat and hideous face. When she had a baby a few years ago she posted revolting pictures on Facebook of her breastfeeding, and it looked like the baby was sucking on a giant watermelon. Get the picture? 

I am describing her in such a nasty way for two reasons: A, it's the truth and B, she is scathing when it comes to Trump, his followers, his family, and the entire Republican Party.  Her most recent Facebook post regarding the election was this: "I am sick that so many Haters voted for this Monster. It's fucking heartbreaking. This fucking turd has exposed racists and homophobes all around us, even here in Vermont. It's horrifying and sickening."

So Trump is a monster, and with a capital M. And anyone who voted for him is a hater, with a capital H. And who even knew they had such people in bucolic Vermont? Luckily, if he wins and doesn't mysteriously die in his sleep in a few weeks making Clown Face our president, Joe Biden vows to unify the country! He will bring us all together! 

That'll be the day.

Voting: Bah, Humbug

Yesterday was the 100th anniversary of women getting the right to vote, or something like that. A very serious lady, the Secretary of the State of Pennsylvania who spent all day counting ballots from yesterday's vote, appeared on this evening's TV news saying the "holiday is cause for celebration." What she doesn't know is that today is my son's birthday, reminding me that 33 years ago I pushed the equivalent of a 7 lb. butternut squash (see photo) out through my vagina without benefit of painkillers. Now that's worth celebrating!

Anyway, now I feel pressured about the Suffragette thing but I'm not sure what I should do about it. I voted yesterday and of course my vote was meaningless because this is a blue state and I am a red woman, so big whoop. And the voting process has been weird this year, tainted in several ways with hardly anyone voting on the actual Election Day, making me less inclined to ever vote again for the rest of my life, however long that might be.

Another thing that has turned me off of voting is the realization that everyone can vote no matter how clueless or evil they may be, and that's some social distancing I embrace wholeheartedly

Thoughts on A Biden Win

Our next president?

The winner of the presidency has not yet been decided, but I'm hoping it's Joe Biden. I like thinking of Donald Trump getting back to living a great life, playing golf, hanging out in one of his luxurious homes, spending time with his grandchildren and starting up new business deals without the constant berating of leeches like Jake Tapper, Dana Bash, Anderson Cooper and the rest of the talking heads who survive by sucking the blood of people who actually contribute to our society in a tangible way. And watching Biden try to make sense and stay awake during press conferences seems like a good time. 

Then there will be the immediate and stunning makeover of frumpy Jill Biden, who will likely grace the cover of Vogue ASAP, unlike the drop-dead gorgeous, former model Melania Trump who never did, not once in five years!

Another perk of a Biden victory will be the fact that my son, who turns 33 today, will start to feel better after years of his internal rage at Trump poisoning his soul. As a mother I would make any sacrifice for him, so this one is easy since it's out of my hands but I'll still reap the benefits. What better birthday gift could I ever give him?

Of course the worst part is Clown Face, a.k.a. Kamala Harris who, horror of horrors, would become the president if Joe kicks the bucket. (Please Joe, take care of yourself.)

It's Showtime!

Finally the big day is here. Soon enough we'll find out if our next leader will be a doddering old fool who doesn't know his own son has been dead for several years -- today Joe Biden introduced his granddaughter as his son Beau -- or a narcissist who's addicted to ranting about his enemies on Twitter. Personally I hope the latter stays in office, only because I will miss seeing the beautiful, semi-reclusive First Lady. (Mrs. Biden is a frumpy housewife type I can see anytime I want by looking in the mirror.)

By far the best part of this election will take place tonight on TV as the silly talking heads compete for airtime, each station wanting to be the one presenting the most exciting breaking news, the first to call a winning state, and the possessor of the most colorful and confusing digital maps of the country. 

Honestly, I have no horse in this race. I'm hoping Biden wins because my son will be depressed if he doesn't, and I'm hoping Trump wins so I can relish Rachel Maddow's bitter on-air tears. No matter who comes out on top, my life will remain exactly the same, as it has through every president since I was born. And that's a lot of presidents. 

Guess My Gender

You may have noticed that people are sharing their pronouns in introductions, on nametags, and whenever a group of idiots get together.  This is happening to make spaces more inclusive of transgender, gender nonconforming, and gender non-binary people. 

Including pronouns is a first step toward respecting people’s gender identity, working against the bias of cisnormativity which runs rampant in our society, and creating a more welcoming space for people of all genders, as well as non-genders, partial genders, other species, extra-terrestrials and people who were out that day.

Naturally this keeps me very busy, what with being antiracist and fighting my innate inclination towards cisnormativity. And of course being white there is the added burden of suppressing my obvious and revolting privilege, not to mention my hideous supremacy, both of which lie dormant within me. But the biggest job I have is trying to hide my gender, since it's not anyone's business but my own. Thus, my chosen pronouns are I, me and mine. As in "I want that, give it to me, that's mine."

I Feel Trump's Pain

By the time you get to my age which is the same age as Donald Trump and three years younger than Joe Biden (who looks ten years older than I), there are many things going awry in the container we live in, which we call "the body." My issues are so numerous I won't bore you with a list, but one of the least visible and worst things I deal with is called "hyper-empathy." In a nutshell, it means that I experience other people’s feelings so much that I actually live it, making me susceptible to feelings of depression or hopelessness that have little to do with my own life.

For example, this morning I read an article online about three teenagers who were on a family holiday in Rhodes, Greece. Two brothers ages 13 and 15 and their 15-year-old cousin, a beautiful girl, went parasailing together. Through some mishap (now under investigation) the rope attaching their parachute to the boat towing them over the sea snapped and all three fell to the rocks below. The girl and her younger cousin died instantly while the older boy remains in critical condition in a hospital.

Reading this story over a delicious breakfast in my beautiful home in idyllic Maine, my adorable cat sleeping peacefully nearby and a lovely fire in the cast-iron stove warming the room, I burst into tears and felt sick. I imagined how the parents felt upon hearing the news, and it was simply too hard to bear. It reminded me of when my own son, about 12 at the time, went parasailing with my husband on a trip to Florida years ago. At the time I was so upset about it I had to leave the area and return to my hotel room; I simply couldn't watch them, fearing the worst. Also, my son was not happy about it and the look on his face as he was being lifted into the sky is still burned in my memory.

So in a way this news story happened to me, back then. Only it didn't. Yes, I'm sick in the head. My dear friend with cancer who is going through chemo right now, another friend whose daughter is hospitalized for bipolar disorder, my sister who lives in a nursing home and can't remember which is her bad ear so talking on the phone is a pain in the ass until she figures it out: all of these people become me, or I become them. No wonder I am always bummed out!

So the arrows constantly being shot at Donald Trump hit me. The morbidly obese people with rolls of fat seen stuffing themselves with unhealthy foods make me sad out of proportion. The pleas for help for abused animals flooding my mailbox, and the starving children in Africa, and the kids on the Smile Train with no upper lips..... it's a crap shoot every time I pick up the newspaper, turn on the TV, look at my phone or leave my home. So please, if you see me sometime, tell me something happy.

Crime and Punishment, Democratic Style

These days, your God-given brains are not necessary for much. They are certainly not needed for making decisions on anything important. All you have to do is check out Facebook or CNN to see what is acceptable behavior, what words are currently banned and which politicians you should support. They'll  even tell you where to shop.

For example, today a nationwide boycott of Home Depot stores was called for online because the founder of that commercial giant declared he was supporting Donald Trump, our sitting president. Oh my God, imagine that -- the man used his own judgement, followed his heart and opted to vote Republican, and for that he must be shunned.

It's no news that the Democrats are an unreasonable lot, to say the least. Today, on his Facebook page, one of my husband's rabid lefty relatives outlined his plan for who should be allowed to vote and how many votes each person should get: Citizen, 1 vote; High-school graduate, 2; Associate's degree, 3; Bachelor's degree, 4; Master's degree, 5; PhD, 6. His plan would minimize Trump voters since they are all idiots. The scary thing is that even though he later said he was just kidding, in his heart I know he wasn't.