Some of My Best Friends Were Democrats

I have been accused of being "stupid" and "blind" for being a Republican who supports Donald Trump. Since I am neither stupid nor blind -- although I do have hard time reading small print -- I wondered if it's the Democrats who are stupid for calling me stupid. Reflecting on some of my past close friends who were all staunch Democrats, I realized that it is! Some examples follow.

Nancy T. was in her 20s when she and her husband were busted for smuggling cocaine into the country from Mexico. While she was busy inserting drug-filled plastic bags into her vagina she was also the mother of a toddler. I met her years later, in her 50s, when her worst offense was alcohol abuse. I once asked her how she kept up with current events since she didn't read any newspapers or watch any news shows. She explained that her (second, non-smuggling) husband read the New York Times every day and "he tells me what to think.'

Joyce J. used abortions as birth control, having six of them during her child-bearing years. (She never had any live children.) A sex addict, she often had intercourse with three men in one night, not at the same time but on "dates" several hours apart. More annoying to me personally, she would keep an open bottle of red wine in her fridge for up to ix months, claiming it was "still good" if it was corked.

Jay R. left her husband of 34 years (and father of her children) because he got hurt in an accident and required months of rehab. She vowed that she wasn't going to "sit at home and take care of him," which was ironic since she is a nurse practitioner.

Leo F. said he could no longer be friends with me because I voted for George W. Bush, but he had no  trouble carrying on an extra-marital affair begun just two weeks after the birth of his second child. He often told his wife that he would be out of town on business for a few days when he was actually just across town with his mistress.

There were many more, as in my younger years I was also a Democrat and as the saying goes, birds of a feather... And I also did stupid, and even immoral things back then. But I'm older and wiser now, and I'm happy to report I'm a Republican.