Beware of Angry Fat Lesbians

There are two kinds of lesbians. The first kind are average women who prefer the company of other women to men, both in and out of the bedroom, although they may have male friends. Many of them are beautiful, like actresses Portia DeRossi and Ellen DeGeneres who are married to one another. 

Then there is the other kind. They are often fat, usually very unattractive, and have never had a man give them the slightest bit of attention in their lifetime, especially as young teens. Still harboring the hurts from their high-school years, they grow up to be vindictive man-haters. This kind is dangerous.

One such fat, ugly lesbian has been harassing my son for the past six years. She is actually psychotic. I know her name and address and would love to disclose that information here and plaster it on signs all over the city, but I fear for my own safety and that of my son, whose only sin is being very handsome and having a beautiful girlfriend that isn't her.

This crackpot has enlisted her lesbian friends to harass him too, which they do online. She has tried to ruin his business and reputation by posting outrageous and incendiary lies about him on her Instagram account, despite having received a restraining order from the local police to cease. 

If anyone reading this practices voodoo, please contact me.