Democrats Gone Wild!

One of  the latest to fall ill from TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) is Laura Helmuth, former editor-in-chief of Scientific American magazine, following her mental breakdown after the election. Her bratty rant about Donald Trump voters went viral on X, and even though she eventually deleted the posts it was too late -- she was canned anyway, so kudos to Scientific American. (Who wants to lose 50% of their readers?)

It is well-known in publishing circles that when Covid showed up in 2020, Helmuth developed a tip sheet for journalists covering the pandemic, saying that, "repetition makes misinformation feel more true." That's some tip!

Posting online, Helmuth called Trump voters "the meanest, dumbest, most bigoted” group, and “fascists.” After her comments went viral she backed down, obviously lacking the courage of her convictions. In fact, they aren't even her convictions -- she was just repeating things she heard until they felt true, just like she had instructed her journalists.

Helmuth has since apologized, calling her comments “offensive and inappropriate. I respect and value people across the political spectrum. These posts do not reflect my beliefs; they were a mistaken expression of shock and confusion about the election results.”

Hardy har har, Laura. Yup, you'll get a new job somewhere soon. You might try McDonald's, I hear they once hired Kamala Harris. I hear they once hired Kamala Harris. I hear they once  hired Kamala Harris. I hear they once hired Kamala Harris. I hear they once hired Kamala Harris. I hear they once hired Kamala Harris. I hear they once hired Kamala Harris. I hear they once hired Kamala Harris. 

It's A Good Time to Be A Shrink

Let's recap: The Republicans won the White House, the Senate, the House and hold a majority in the Supreme Court. Trump won not only in the Electoral College but also won the popular vote. Clearly, more Americans today are in sync with the policies and proposals of the Republican Party than with those of the Democrats.

And yet the depressed, delusional and disdainful Democrats are out there, on TV and in print, shamelessly advocating that their followers are right to cut Republican friends and family members from their Christmas celebrations and exclude them from Thanksgiving dinners.

It's a sorry state of affairs when so many depressed people are in need of psychiatric help all at the same time. On the flip side, it's a great time to be a shrink! For the next four years -- possibly eight -- they can rake in big bucks helping the losers through the five stages of grief, all while the meter is running.

Bye Bye, Kamala!

It's like my dream come true: Today's paper contains not one photo or article about you-know-who. Despite raising a billion dollars during the campaign, just a week later she'd barely get enough for a Happy Meal if she stood on a street corner with a sign saying, "Deeply in debt, anything helps." 

This is as it should be, since her stairway to the stars -- including Oprah, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Robert DeNiro, Lizzo, Queen Latifah and the rest of those glitzy lapdogs -- was built on mere quicksand.

If only all the sad Democrats could recognize that our election gifted us a strong leader instead of that lamebrained follower, the doom and gloom of the last four years would be lifted. Instead, they wallow in misery and cling to the baseless belief that all Republicans are scoundrels and Donald Trump is a threat to democracy.

As Kamala herself said repeatedly in the last few months, it's time to turn the page. Rise up and rejoice: Not only is Trump going to be President, but Sen. Marco Rubio will be Secretary of State. Finally I will sleep soundly again. Now all we have to do is make it to January 20th without incident. Fingers crossed that the dismal duo currently at the helm doesn't blow it before then.

Grocery Shopping 101

As my husband was leaving to go to the supermarket, I looked at his list and offered to rewrite it because there were so many things already crossed off. What concerned me was that he would come home with things I already bought, but he took it to mean I was calling him an idiot. "You know I only use that word when referring to Kamala Harris," I replied. 

That calmed him down, but he was still miffed. Our exchange reminded me of a column I wrote 28 years ago for Utah's Deseret News. I post it below, shaking my head in disbelief that little has changed: 

I consider myself a liberated woman, despite the fact that I go by Mrs. and not Ms. So I was somewhat shocked when I had the following conversation with my 9-year-old son the other day:

"Honey, would you like to come to the supermarket with me this afternoon?"

"No way."

"Why not?"

"It's boring."

"You know, when I was little I liked going shopping for food with my mom. I thought it was fun."

He was silent for about 15 seconds, then he said, "Yeah, but you were practicing. I don't need to."

Swerving to avoid a head-on collision with a FedEx truck, I wondered where I had gone wrong. Studiously avoiding sexual stereotyping from day one, I painted Zack's nursery yellow. Risking divorce, or at least a bad night, I boldly dressed him in pink when he was a baby. (OK, it was rare, but it happened.) I didn't freak out if he chose to play with dolls when he was a toddler, and I never bought him guns or war toys. And now this!

I was stunned. But then, out of the darkness came light. That must be why my husband can't go grocery shopping -- not enough practice! When I asked him if he ever accompanied his mother to the market as a child, he replied, apparently confused, "Why would I?"

He should have. It's a skill that could come in handy on those difficult days, like when I'm in a body cast or delirious with 104-degree fever. In all fairness, I'll admit that on days like that, my husband cheerfully volunteers to pick up a few things at the market.When he does, unloading his grocery bags is like entering the Twilight Zone: everything is normal, yet nothing looks familiar. He refuses to buy the brands we commonly use. I ask why and he says it's more interesting.

"We're in a rut with this Grey Poupon, so I got this instead."

"But we like Grey Poupon," I replied. (Okay, I whined.)

"You're in a rut! Life is too short to have Grey Poupon all the time."

"My point exactly - my life is too short not to have it. And my life is shorter than yours since I'm older. What if I die before we have it again? A jar of mustard is around for quite a while -- anything could happen between jars."

Mitch makes the point that he might have been killed on the way home from the store, and I might at this moment be down at the morgue or at least the emergency room, so I should quit complaining and count my lucky stars.

Our arguments often escalate into discussions of existential proportions, dwarfing the issue of who buys what. It's a basic tactic he uses to make me forget the problem at hand, which is how I am supposed to make a meal out of this stuff.

He brings home vegetables that defy identification. I can't even figure out how to cut into them, let alone what to do once I've achieved that. There's usually some dangerous-looking fruit with spikes, two or three canned foods with names I can't pronounce, and the biggest offender, whole milk instead of skim.

"I asked for skim."

"Oh, lighten up."

"That's what I'm trying to do!"

I keep foraging. I asked for Saran Wrap, he got Handiwrap.

"So what?" 

"Handiwrap doesn't tear off clean. I have to spend about 15 minutes looking for the start of the roll."

"You know, I wondered what you do all day."

A few weeks ago, I gave him this list: skim milk, eggs, broccoli, apples, bread, mayonnaise, juice, turkey. He came home with whole milk, jalapeno peppers, WD-40, star fruit, egg rolls, a bag of sour gummy worms, hot garlic stir fry sauce, Diet Snapple and batteries.

"What is this? Where are all the things on the list?"

"Oh, I left the list in the car. When's dinner?"

"I think what's dinner is more the question."

For the welfare of my future daughter-in-law, I devised a plan. Now when my husband goes to the market, I insist that he take our son with him for practice. And it's working. Today they brought home skim milk, ground beef, spaghetti sauce, broccoli and orange juice. Just what I wanted! Still, my son was apologetic. "Sorry we forgot the WD-40, Mom."

He's learning. 

The Worst Person in America

Not only is she fat and ugly, she's stupid too. One-time comedian Whoopi Goldberg, whose real name is Caryn Elaine Johnson -- and she is not Jewish, she just picked a name she thought would get her some attention -- said on national TV that the reason for high food prices has nothing to do with Joe Biden or Kamala Harris or inflation, but it's because, "grocery store owners are pigs."

Way to alienate the little guy, Whoopi. I'm guessing you don't do your own food shopping, although it's obvious someone is doing it for you -- and a lot of it.

Now, didn't you promise to leave the country if Trump won -- again? If you need any help packing I'm sure hundreds of thousands of Americans would be thrilled to lend a hand.

Good Riddance to DEI's KJP

I'm quite happy Donald Trump won the election for so many adult reasons that promise me a better night's sleep, among them lower prices at the grocery and gas pump, fewer illegal drug lords, gangs and fentanyl crossing our borders, greater assurance of peace in the world and far less fear about World War III breaking out.

But there's another kind of reason that is less grown-up but just as big: No more Raggedy Ann at the White House press conferences! KJP, or Karine Jean-Pierre, or whatever the heck name you want to use, will be outta here! Not for long I suspect as she will surely follow in the footsteps of every other White House Press Secretary and end up as a talking head on some cable channel, spinning her insider knowledge into a million-dollar salary. But at least I won't have to watch.

My advice to KJP, who was obviously chosen by Biden's team because like Kamala, she is black and female (and with the bonus of being gay), is to do something with that hair! It looks like a wig and maybe it is, but it's so wrong for any human over the age of three, although perfectly fine for a plastic doll. Next, she should lose the sparkly eye-shadow that always matches the color of her clothing -- usually bright pink or bright orange or bright green or bright turquoise. 

Besides her looking like a child, KJP never came armed with much insight or information concerning the President, often responding to questions from the press with, "I have nothing for you on that." Hopefully Trump will pick someone with brains and an ability to reason and not another poster child for DEI.

The Politics of Personality

All the pundits and talking heads are busy yapping about why Trump won, wondering how a "twice-impeached convicted felon" could possibly sway the public and become the leader of the free world. Economists cite taxes and tariffs while opinion writers point fingers at Joe Biden's late exit from the race. They all miss the truth, which is simply that Trump has a great personality and his supporters love him. 

Arriving dressed like a garbage collector at one of his last rallies, Trump described how hard it was for him to climb up into the cab of the garbage truck. In front of thousands, he was self-deprecating and jolly, and uttered the phrase we all say all the time: "Oh, shit!" The crowd roared, and I realized right then and there that he would win the election. When he said he liked the outfit because someone told him it was "slimming," that sealed the deal. 

Despite his fabulous wealth and incredible life history, Trump has remained a real person with that great, outsized New York personality. He's often raucously funny and says what everyone's thinking, whereas Kamala Harris is one of those plastic manufactured dolls you find in toy stores, the kind with a string coming out of her back. Pull it and she says one of the following implanted phrases: "I grew up in a middle class family, I offer an opportunity economy, We have more in common than what separates us."

The sore-loser Democrats console themselves by thinking Harris lost because she's a woman, or because she's black, and America just isn't ready for that. They're wrong. Harris lost because she's a plastic dummy with an empty head. Lacking the ability to see herself as others see her, she laughs like a crazed hyena even when nothing is funny, perhaps to show off her only true asset: great teeth. 

Sour Grapes Never Tasted So Sweet

I couldn't manage to stay awake last night to see the election results, but when I went to bed Donald Trump was decidedly ahead. No matter, I told myself -- the very same thing happened in 2020, and when I woke up the next day I was shocked to learn that he had lost. Figuring they would just do again whatever they had done back then, I drifted off to sleep. But miracle of miracles, this morning I awoke to the news that Trump had won! 

I was happy, to say the least, especially because I would not have to see or hear that horrible harridan Harris anymore. Democrats are not happy, and today they are unleashing their bitterness on the world. Following is a tiny sampling of their very delicious sour grapes.

"People woke up this morning with a big dream. They are going to wake up tomorrow in a nightmare." -- Van Jones, CNN reporter

"This is why some of y’all states be getting hurricanes. I hate y'all bad.” -- Cardi B, rapper and linguist

“Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy America.” -- Maureen Dowd, New York Times columnist

"It is hard to imagine a candidate more unworthy to serve as president of the United States than Donald Trump." -- New York Times editorial board

"I was so hopeful that a mixed race woman married to a Jewish guy could be elected president of this country, and I think that it had nothing to do with policy. I think this was a referendum of cultural resentment in this country. -- Sunny Hostin, co-host on "The View"

“Why? Give me your reasons why????? My child is sobbing because her rights as a woman may be taken away. And if you disagree, please unfollow me.” -- actress Christina Applegate, post on X

“The fact that the country would choose to destroy itself by voting in a convicted felon rapist and Nazi is a sign of deep nihilism. To put it mildly.” -- actor John Cusack, now-deleted post on X

No Matter Who Wins

For a few more hours, each of us can hold out hope that our candidate might win. It's a scary time. As one media person described it, people everywhere are feeling "nauseously optimistic." 

Today at the local polling place where I worked the early morning shift, there was no talk of politics. It was the first time in months that I didn't hear the word "Trump". Of course those were the rules we poll workers had pledged to follow: No political talk, keep an upbeat attitude, smile at everyone and report any suspicious activity.

Despite trying, I found it harder and harder to smile at everyone as the day wore on. Seeing hundreds and hundreds of members of the public parading by, stopping at my station to check if they were registered to vote, I saw clearly that the average American is really fat and unhealthy-looking. Even the young people looked old and gray. By the time I got home I was very disheartened, and not because of politics.

Moral of the story: No matter who wins the election, we all can and should strive to be our best selves. This means lose the fat, eat healthier, stop smoking, exercise often, and hug a Republican daily. 

The End Is Near (Thank God)

Okay, it's just 24 hours until an election takes place with so many available loopholes and avenues of deceit, only an incurable Pollyanna would think the results will reflect the will of the people. (Dead people mailing in ballots, mailboxes full of ballots set on fire, ballot boxes thrown in a river. Oh please.)

Nevertheless, tomorrow I will participate in the charade and work at our local polling place from 6:30 in the morning until 2 pm. All I ask is that nothing crazy happens, like for example Kamala Harris becomes the president. 

The good news is that it might finally be over and we can all get back to thinking about other things.

Call Me Oscar

Average Trump supporter at home.

Joe Biden campaigned four years ago on the promise that he would "unite the country." Let's see how well he has done.

As of last night, in a grandiose speech written by a team of professional writers so all she had to do was concentrate on her acting, Kamala Harris rejects Donald Trump's ongoing efforts to "sow division" among the American people! She pledges to be "the president for all people"! At the same time, she loves Joe Biden and thinks he is a great president and would not do anything different from what he has done. She has said he is 100% up-to-speed in the work he does. 

So, after letting that sink in, consider this: Yesterday President Joe Biden called all Trump supporters "garbage." I can't decide if that is better or worse than being "bitter, clinging to my guns and religion," as Obama has described me, or "deplorable," as Hillary Clinton concluded.

And they say Trump sows division! He has only called Kamala Harris an idiot with a very low IQ, not every last Democrat in the country who supports her. As for his saying Puerto Rico is a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean, he never said that. Instead, a comic at his rally at MSG said it, and Trump disavowed any prior knowledge of the comic's material. As for the veracity of the offending statement, I cannot comment since I have never been there. 

AT&T Blows

Ah, modern life, wherein technological advances are supposedly making things so much better. Except for all those electric cars that start fires in people's garages and that Roomba vacuum cleaner that does the work for you while you sit on your fat ass watching Netflix with a pint of Ben & Jerry's courting diabetes, things are great!

An example of how far we have come can be found in my failed attempt to change my cell phone number. For the last hour this has been my mission, which I finally abandoned because the robots I dealt with were  clueless and the two humans I actually got through to were even worse. Apparently AT&T, a once-reputable company, has fallen into serious disrepair. 

After searching online for store locations, I called three in my area. Each time I heard the same recording and waited on hold listening to the same canned music, hearing repeatedly how important I am to them. Finally someone picked up at the store in Yarmouth, Maine. The young man stammered a bit after hearing my request, then said he was "new" and "in training" and "didn't know how to do it." I hung up.

The Falmouth store was no better. There, after the whole recorded-music-message bit, another young man picked up and said he could help! "Sure, I can do that," he said, adding he would have to get customer service in on the call so could I please hold on. Then the line went dead, replaced with a dial tone. 

I went online and tried to figure out how to change the number myself but was unable to get very far without entering my name, email, zip code and current phone number. I did all that and received the message that no such person was in their records.

When my next bill arrives from AT&T I will send a note telling them to bill
No Such Person.

Beware of Angry Fat Lesbians

There are two kinds of lesbians. The first kind are average women who prefer the company of other women to men, both in and out of the bedroom, although they may have male friends. Many of them are beautiful, like actresses Portia DeRossi and Ellen DeGeneres who are married to one another. 

Then there is the other kind. They are often fat, usually very unattractive, and have never had a man give them the slightest bit of attention in their lifetime, especially as young teens. Still harboring the hurts from their high-school years, they grow up to be vindictive man-haters. This kind is dangerous.

One such fat, ugly lesbian has been harassing my son for the past six years. She is actually psychotic. I know her name and address and would love to disclose that information here and plaster it on signs all over the city, but I fear for my own safety and that of my son, whose only sin is being very handsome and having a beautiful girlfriend that isn't her.

This crackpot has enlisted her lesbian friends to harass him too, which they do online. She has tried to ruin his business and reputation by posting outrageous and incendiary lies about him on her Instagram account, despite having received a restraining order from the local police to cease. 

If anyone reading this practices voodoo, please contact me.

How Trump Is Like Hitler

The Democrats, desperate as they near the finish line with a lagging candidate stumbling and gasping for air, are trying anything. And I mean anything. Their latest and most offensive tactic, aimed no doubt at the dumbest voters who still are undecided, is to keep repeating that "Trump is Hitler!" They base this trope on absolutely nothing, but hey-- whatever works.

I have done some research and discovered that Trump actually is like Adolf Hitler, in several ways. Here they are:

1. Adolf Hitler was male, as is Donald Trump.

2. Adolf Hitler attracted many followers, as does Donald Trump.

3. Both men put their pants on one leg at a time.

4. Both men have been photographed drinking water from a glass. (see photo)

A Final Plea to Democrats

With the election just twelve days away, can we talk honestly? Less than a year ago -- and for pretty much all of her time in office as VP -- Kamala Harris was the laughingstock of late-night TV hosts, stand-up comics and most of the conservative press, both here and abroad. Even the liberals got in plenty of jokes at her expense. All of this caused the Democrats to consider tapping someone else to run with Biden in 2024, fearing Harris would tank the ticket.

Then, in a televised debate with Donald Trump, President Biden proved himself an incapable leader beyond salvation. Appearing feeble, frail and clearly demented, the Party bigwigs freaked out! Oy vey, what to do? Replacing Biden with someone younger and more relatable came with an inescapable problem: If they didn't promote Kamala to the top of the ticket they would be called out as racist and sexist. Or so thought the party's internal DEI dictators, the same woke crowd responsible for Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg (inept but gay) and Assistant HHS Secretary Rachel Levine (inept but transgender). 

So with no other option they went with Kamala, despite her being a ninny who worries very much about how her name is pronounced, LIKE THAT MATTERS!!!  Everyone knows she is inarticulate, has a bad personality, laughs inappropriately, is devoid of any original ideas, lacks charisma --  and in certain lights looks just like Mr. Ed, the talking horse. 

Those qualities surfaced during the 2020 Democratic primary race when she was the first to drop out due to lack of voter support resulting in not enough cash to fund her campaign. And yet here we are, in the very strange position of having an obvious loser run for the Leader of the Free World! 

Most people know that the "man behind the curtain," or in today's world the teleprompter, is Barack Obama, but even he has been looking pretty weak on the campaign trail these days, resorting to yelling at black men to vote for their "sista" and rapping with Eminem, who BTW is white so if you gonna rap, do it with a brutha, man.

Come on Dems -- get over yourselves! Tough times call for tough measures, and Kamala Harris is not tough, will never be tough, and is in fact about the weakest Democrat I can think of. Heck, at this point Sen. Elizabeth Warren looks like a combination of Atlas and Joan of Arc in comparison. And hey, isn't she part Native American?

Tulsi Nails It

Last night, on stage at a Trump rally, 

former Democratic congesswoman from Hawaii 

Tulsi Gabbard announced her decision 

to become a Republican, saying she was joining “the party of the people, the party of equality, 

the party that was founded to fight against 

and end slavery in this country, 

and is the party of common sense, 

and the party that is led by a president 

who has the courage and strength 

to fight for peace.”

Who Do You Trust?

Norah O'Donnell, who launched her career when she was younger and more beautiful, is now seeing her star fade. While she still anchors the CBS Evening News where she panders shamelessly to her Democrat audience, it's known that the now 50-year-old O'Donnell will leave/lose that position after the election and become just another "correspondent" for CBS. In other words, "Ta-ta Norah, you're old."

In a recent broadcast, O'Donnell referred to Trump's endearing, charming and downright wholesome stint at a Pennsylvania McDonald's, where he donned an apron and learned how to make French fries, then handed out food at the restaurant's drive-thru window, as a "staged political stunt."

No wonder Norah is getting dumped! Jeez -- what political event has not been "staged?" Did Barack Obama just stumble upon two huge wooden columns, painted white and in the Greek style, and decide to stand between them when he gave his 2007 acceptance speech as the Democratic nominee for president? And did Kamala Harris just happen by our southern border when hordes of cameramen and reporters were there too, ready to document her 19-minute stop-and-chat with a border agent?

Sadly, any event that makes Trump look good is immediately denigrated by the Democrat press. Most of them were quick to posit that even the assassination attempt on his life in Butler, PA last July 13 had been staged by the Republicans to garner sympathy for him.

If the Dems ever released their hold on the mainstream media and ended all their nasty undercutting of Trump, many of their own party might be able to summon up the cojones to recognize the human being inside "Orange Man" and grasp that the real phony is that cackling, know-nothing hand-puppet, Kamala Harris.

It's All Trump's Fault

 Damn that Donald Trump! He is responsible for everything bad! I blame him for the following:

1. I have put on about five pounds in the last few weeks because I am so stressed over the fact that Trump was almost assassinated, causing me to lose faith in the Secret Service and our government and eat a lot of cookies and ice cream. Dammit, Donald!

2. I wake up with a bad headache most mornings after a fitful night's sleep because of Trump being so much better than Kamala Harris, and yet the Democrats keep pushing all those lies about him like he's Hitler, which of course has no basis in reality but still they say it. Dammit, Donald!

3. I have an appointment with my dermatologist today that I don't want to keep but I have to because Donald Trump might lose the election and it's causing me to have an allergic skin reaction from an unknown source, which is likely the lies spread by Anderson Cooper and those horrible women on "The View." Dammit, Donald! 

4. My cat has to have three, yes three, teeth pulled, and it's all Trump's fault since I've spent so much time watching the TV news that I've neglected to brush Lurch's teeth. Dammit, Donald!

5. I made some applesauce this morning and I was so distracted hearing Kamala's latest bashing of Trump that I left some of the skin on the apples when I was peeling them. Dammit, Donald!

Jesus, can this man ever be stopped? His evil nature is infecting everything!

Jews and Everyone Else for Jesus

We are chided incessantly to never judge people by their skin color, despite the fact that everything, including who we appoint to political office and, most recently, to sit on the Supreme Court, is laser-focused on skin color. Yet somehow it's still okay to judge people based on what religion they choose to follow. 

The fact that I am a Jew and Jews have been persecuted since the beginning of time -- although honestly I have only experienced it once in my 78 years -- robs me of any sympathy I might otherwise feel for people on the receiving end of considerable DEI perks from the government and higher education because they were born black or brown or red or yellow, and yet they clamor for even more. 

Jews, Catholics, Mormons and Muslims, and the followers of the other ancient mythologies that somehow enable people to live each day knowing that they could die any minute each courts the same persecution. It's nutty, and wrong. If believing they will get 72 virgins or their own planet or go to Heaven when they die encourages people to live productive lives, I'm all for it.

Not so Kamala Harris, who recently stiffed the Al Smith fundraising dinner put on annually by Catholic charities to support needy children in New York City. Days later at a campaign stop, she told a heckler who shouted "Jesus is Lord!" that he was "at the wrong rally." These mistakes can't get her the votes of the 20% of Americans who identify as Catholic. And just weeks ago she unwisely shunned the top pick to be her running mate, Pennsylvania's Governor Josh Shapiro, because he's a Jew.

At this point my advice to Kamala is to get out there and shout, "Amen, L'chaim and Allahu Akbar" and take any vote she can get.

 

Film Review: CIVIL WAR

Jesse Plemons, Nick Offerman and Kirsten Dunst risking their careers.

Having shunned it when it was released last March, I finally saw Civil War after a good friend promised that it was "not too violent or gory -- no, nothing like that." 

First of all, I am going to suggest that my friend get herself tested for her hearing and eyesight. Secondly, I will warn anyone who has not seen it that it is nothing but very violent and very gory. It is also dumb, stupid and loud. 

As far as the plot -- it's people shooting people. FYI, no explanation of what started all the shooting, or what's behind it. The story centers on a group of journalists who are covering the war and taking a lot of pictures. One must assume that the director/writer Alex Garland intended a deeper meaning, but don't ask me what it was.

The musical score is occasionally fun, sometimes annoying and always inappropriate for what is going on visually, which is usually someone getting shot, or maybe bleeding out from a gaping wound, or perhaps squirming around in a pit of dead people. These are scenes that don't necessarily want music, but if music is mandatory it should preferably be something other than electronic dance music. Here again, I found the director's decisions perplexing.

Kirsten Dunst stars and does a good job of looking miserable and depressed, but that likely didn't require any acting ability. Really, all she had to do was think about how her promising career had somehow gone off the rails and landed her in this mess of a movie. The remaining cast members are actors unknown to me, except for Nick Offerman who has literally two lines, and Jesse Plemons, who is uncredited but gives the film's best performance in a five-minute scene as a trigger-happy soldier reminiscent of Brad Pitt in Inglorious Basterds, a far superior film that you should see instead.

What Are the Odds?

Betting websites currently project the chance of a Trump victory at 59%. Some people say it's clear that Trump will win, while others say the Democrats cheat and so even if he really does win, he will lose. 

Both candidates have their detractors: 

Trump is hated by Democrats, and some Republicans too, for his outsized personality, his foreign-born wife, his riches, and crazy as it sounds, his hair color. They all think he is in it for personal gain, discounting the fact that when he was in office he took only one dollar of his $400,000 salary and donated the rest to several organizations. (Presidents JFK and Herbert Hoover also donated their salaries to charity.) They believe him to be racist and sexist. The worst of them revel in calling him a "convicted felon" because of victimless crimes involving payoffs to a porn star with whom he consorted years before he became President.

Kamala is hated by the Republicans for her lack of experience on the world stage and her inability to make sense without a script penned by her bosses (likely Obama and his underlings) and projected onto a teleprompter. They say she got where she is by sleeping with a former boss who elevated her to an undeserved position of authority in California, a state now mocked for its total disarray. Her inappropriate, grating laughter makes her seem moronic. Many believe she is not really in charge but is the public face of a sinister machine. They say her campaign is built on lies and on denigrating Trump constantly.

Here's a sure bet: No matter who wins, the odds are 100% that half the country will remain miserable. 

Some of My Best Friends Were Democrats

I have been accused of being "stupid" and "blind" for being a Republican who supports Donald Trump. Since I am neither stupid nor blind -- although I do have a hard time reading small print -- I considered if maybe Democrats are the stupid ones for calling me stupid. Reflecting on some of my past close friends who were, and still are, staunch Democrats, I realized it's true! A random sampling of just a few of them follows.

Nancy T. was busted for smuggling cocaine into the country from Mexico. While she was busy inserting drug-filled plastic bags into her vagina she was also the mother of a toddler. I met her years later, in her 50s, when her worst offense was alcohol abuse. I once asked her how she kept up with current events since she didn't read any newspapers or watch any news shows. She explained that her (second, non-smuggling) husband read the New York Times every day and "he tells me what to think."

Joyce J. used abortions as birth control, having six of them during her child-bearing years. (She never had any live children.) A sex addict, she often had intercourse with three men in one night, not at the same time but on "dates" several hours apart. More annoying to me personally, she would keep an open bottle of red wine in her fridge for up to six months, claiming it was "still good" if it was corked.

Jay R. left her husband because he got hurt in an accident and required months of rehab. After 34 years of marriage, she vowed that she wasn't going to, "sit home and take care of him," she took off for Europe. This was ironic since she is a nurse practitioner.

Leo F. dumped me because I voted for George W. Bush, but he had no trouble starting an extra-marital affair two weeks after the birth of his second child. He often told his wife that he would be out of town on business for a few days when he was actually just across town with his mistress.

There were many more, as in my younger years I was also a Democrat and as the saying goes, birds of a feather. I also did stupid and immoral things back then. But I'm older and wiser now, and I'm happy to report I'm a Republican.

Just Answer the Damn Question!

Watching politicians skirt the truth is pretty much the leading pastime of most Americans during this election year, and frankly I am sick to death of it. Earlier this evening a prime example of this genre aired: an interview on FOX News wherein Bret Baier, the closest we've got to a real journalist since Walter Cronkite died, faced Kamala Harris one-on-one. 

Armed with some pithy questions for the would-be Commander-in-Chief, Baier never got an answer to any of them. Instead, Kamala hemmed and hawed, swallowed air and gulped, and obfuscated a whole lot while repeating her litany of tired insults aimed at Donald Trump. 

She could not or would not say how many illegal immigrants have entered the country under her watch. She could not or would not say when she first noticed that Joe Biden was losing it. She could not or would not say if she supports transgender surgery, on the taxpayer's dime, for prisoners. She could not specify how her "new" administration would differ from her last four years as vice-president. Or why 50% of the country prefers the other candidate. Or what she means by, "It's time to turn the page," when she's the very page we've got to turn!

I wished I had been there to say, "Hey lady, answer the damn question!" And try as hard as he could without slapping her in the face, Bret Baier, like so many before him, couldn't get her to do it.

Future Astronauts of America

As someone old enough to remember when trying to make a doctor's appointment, or any appointment at all -- car repair, insurance claim, dinner reservation -- did not include screaming "representative" over and over, I worry that when the last baby boomer dies nobody will have any idea how good things were before robots replaced people, when obesity was frowned upon, when there were just two genders and when only intelligent people ran for political office. (Ha!)

Oddly enough, despite technological advances supposedly improving all our lives, life has gotten worse. Who cares if a booster rocket can safely return to its launch pad when suicides, fatal drug overdoses, gun violence and mental illness continue to increase? And as for that rocket, who knows how bad things will have gotten by the time we settle on Mars?

It's doubtful humans will make it to Mars if we continue feeding our children Fruit Loops, Honey Smacks, Marshmallow Fruity Pebbles, Chocolate Marshmallow Mateys, Cookies & Creme Krispies and Chocolatey Chip Eggo Waffles for breakfast. Will all our future astronauts be diabetic? 

Just wondering.

TV REVIEW: Ellen DeGeneres/For Your Approval

For reasons I don't understand, many people choose to watch depressing fictional stories as a way to unwind from the depressing factual events that occur in the world every day. This 70-minute Ellen DeGeneres stand-up comedy special streaming on Netflix delivers a welcome respite from the usual violence, drugs, gore and other assorted horrors that fill the airwaves and give you bad dreams. 

Filmed last August at the stunning Orpheus Theater in Minneapolis, the sold-out crowd in attendance reacts to Ellen's decidedly low-key humor with standing ovations and roars of approval worthy of a Beatles reunion including John, George and the Pope. While I laughed out loud quite a few times, it was mostly because I'm unfamiliar with DeGeneres and thus her comic style seemed refreshingly new to me. Still, it wasn't that funny. 

Mostly it offered DeGeneres a chance to explain herself and salvage her tarnished reputation after having been, as she put it, "kicked out of show business." Her expulsion stemmed from the allegations of many of her staff that her daytime talk show, Ellen, was a hostile workplace. Much of her material centered on that. As someone who never saw that show once in the 19 years it aired, I came away thinking she was a real sweetheart and flatly discounted rumors that she had ever been the "Queen of Mean."

When DeGeneres departed from that subject and focused strictly on comedy, her take on everyday life was a hoot. A fraction of the material dealt with her being openly gay, but not enough to be annoying. Mostly she was amusing, insightful, charming and decidedly un-mean. Watch it if you need a quick pick-me-up.

Picking Apart Racism

After my two last blog posts accusing pit bulls of having a vicious intrinsic nature, I received the following comment from a reader: "Regarding pit bulls, you are a racist. Also ignorant, you know nothing about them and only believe what you read in the media."  

I wondered -- how could my feelings about pit bulls be considered racist. Have the stories and statistics about pit bulls attacking and killing people all been that dreaded "misinformation" created by the media? And if so, for what purpose?

And if you follow that thinking, maybe Hamas isn't so bad. Maybe they didn't really rape and murder innocent Israelis one year ago. Perhaps my attitude is racist towards the Palestinian terrorists. 

I guess I am a racist since I do notice race, which you are not supposed to unless you are in the HR Department of any institution or corporation, at which point it becomes quite pertinent and you damn well better notice. 

The woke gospel is you are not supposed to even "see" race, and in fact should strive towards being "color blind." Except on every form you fill out for whatever petty reason, you are asked to identify your race. And when he ran for office,
Joe Biden promised he would appoint a "woman of color"'as his VP, which makes him both racist and sexist. 

Would anyone vote for Kamala Harris for President if she were white?

Pit Bulls On Parade

This being National Pit Bull Awareness Month, I thought it fitting to relate the following information. In the last week, three people have been attacked by pit bulls in separate incidents. A 1-year-old boy and a 59-year-old man died from being mauled by the ferocious dogs, and a 37-year-old woman had her arm ripped off by her very own pit bull!

Isn't it crazy that this breed, specifically bred to be killers, is still in existence? What does our government actually do to protect us?

Doggie Dos and Don'ts

This is an easy quiz -- only one question!  It should take no longer than a minute to complete. Your answer will clarify just how smart you are.

1. I would leave my 1-year-old child at the home of a babysitter who has:

     A.  1 pit bull

     B.  2 pit bulls

     C.  3 pit bulls

     D.  Zero pit bulls

If you chose D you are sane, not a danger to the gene pool and thus are free to procreate. If you chose any other answer, you are a big dummy and should wear a sign saying "Beware, I am a big dummy."

FYI, this post is in response to a news article about a woman who left her 1-year-old son with a babysitter who owned 4 pit bulls. The sitter went out and left the boy alone with her 13-year-old daughter and the pit bulls. During her absence the little boy was mauled by all the dogs and later died from his injuries.

Many people say that "pitties" are adorable and loving. I say Google how many deaths have been caused by, say, a cocker spaniel or a poodle, then do the same for a pit bull.

Stepping Stones to Stardom

How much does the average person need to know about a faraway situation that doesn't impact them directly? And should chasing down the details of dire events that are happening somewhere, to some people, in order to inform the public require life-threatening behavior by reporters? Honestly, are they being altruistic or are they just auditioning for a raise, a book deal or their own news show?

These questions came to mind while watching last night's desperate TV coverage of Hurricane Milton as it chugged onto the Florida coast, doing far less damage than was hoped for by the reporters, sound engineers and cameramen on the scene. The disappointment was palpable in the voices of the interviewers and interviewees, who said things like, "Milton is sparing us the worst," "This is not the worst-case scenario we had expected," "It's still very wet and windy out here but the storm surge will not be what we feared," and more like that. The Mayor of Tampa, who earlier in the day told residents of her city to "evacuate or you will die," seemed downright depressed as she admitted that the storm of the century gobsmacking her city was not to be, diminishing her 15 minutes of fame to about five. 

Poor Anderson Cooper of CNN flew down to Florida to stand in the rain and the wind, and for what purpose? Had he heard that FOX News anchor Bill Hemmer was going down there to do just that? Seriously guys, everyone knows what a hurricane looks like, you don't have to stand outside getting pummelled just to show off your station's logo glowing in the night. At least Anderson was rewarded by getting hit in the chest by some "flying debris" on camera, which made him say, "This is not good." No worries -- just a few minutes later it was reported that he was fine, and today there are news stories commending Anderson for "braving the storm," a.k.a. he was too dumb to come in from out in the rain.

On another front is Trey Yingst, the FOX News reporter stationed in Israel since the trouble began a year ago. Near my own son's age, I watch him with a loving mother's eye, frightened that he will be killed in action by a wayward missile or terrorist. But never fear: Yingst has already got a book out about his experiences, although one wonders when he had time to write it what with running around tunnels in Gaza and hiding in bomb shelters, all on camera. You can bet that if he makes it back here alive he'll pop up somewhere as a news anchor making big bucks. Or who knows, maybe he'll be appointed as a cabinet member or run for Senator, since all it takes these days to be a star is a name and a photogenic face. Heck, I might vote for him.

The Perils of A Long Life

When he was in the first grade, my son had an unusual assignment. The students, all 6 or 7 years old, were asked to write about what they considered the perfect age. He wrote the following: "I'd like to always be 18. Old enough to have a girlfriend but not so old to have those aching backs." (He always was a smart kid.)

I am fortunate to still be alive at the age of 78, and today my back is not aching, although it had been for the last week or so. Fortunately we have a hot tub and stock jugs of Tylenol and Advil, and so I made it through. Nevertheless, I expect something to hurt me every day and I'm usually right. 

Some of my former friends were not so lucky, dying in their 50s and 60s. And my own mother died at 62. But considering what's happening to the people I care about, growing older is no walk in the park, despite how Jane Fonda looks at 86. Without naming names, following is a list of some of my friends and their medical issues at the age they are right now:

70: Pancreatic cancer requiring chemo and possible surgery

71: In hospital with pancreatitis

70: Rare disease possibly requiring bone marrow transplant

75: Recovering from a double mastectomy after breast cancer diagnosis

81: Recovering from breast cancer radiation treatments

71: Diabetes and atrial fibrillation

70: Parkinson's Disease

I'm thankful to be relatively healthy compared to that bunch, although I did have a heart attack when I was 70 and I've got the stents to prove it. Still, as the saying goes, it's better to be on the top side of the grass. So if you're not on life-support and your biggest problem is what to make for dinner or how to pay the electric bill, thank your lucky stars and have a nice day!

DEI, KJP, and FEMA

If someone is bad at their job, should they be allowed keep it because they are the embodiment of DEI?  And what if that job is being the voice of the current administration -- essentially explaining the decisions and intentions of the alleged "leader of the free world? Shouldn't the qualifications go beyond skin color, gender and sexual orientation?

Obviously I'm talking about KJP, whose  actual name is needlessly long so she goes by her initials. But whatever she calls herself, she's always been Raggedy Ann* to me, which to be honest is sort of insulting to the beloved doll of the same name.

As Biden's press secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre has it all. She's black, a descriptor that is necessary these days to achieve any type of success in a Democrat-led government. And she's female, also important; after all, women are the ones who have abortions and that's quite a popular subject among Democrats. Add the cherry on top -- she's gay!  -- and you've hit the trifecta for 50% of a phony-baloney, superficial society where nothing below the surface matters a whit. (Hence Kamala Harris for President.)

In her televised press conferences, KJP has steadfastly delivered the lies of the administration to the media with well-practiced ease. Her most recent one had to do with the allocation of FEMA funds, wherein she abruptly stormed out of a press briefing after insisting there was nothing fishy about a huge chunk of government aid going to Lebanon while the victims of Hurricane Helene, thousands of whom suffer from a lack of food, water, housing and electricity, are slated to receive a piddling $750 each to "get them started on rebuilding." 

A day later the whole thing has been debunked as disinformation, i.e. it's Trump's fault, as is so much of the news in these trying, lying times. I certainly don't know the truth, and neither do you. Thank KJP for the confusion.

* Raggedy Ann is a rag doll with red yarn for hair and a triangle nose. The character was created in 1915 as a doll, and introduced to the public in the 1918 book Raggedy Ann Stories.