FILM REVIEW: Carry-On

This film is currently trending, and since I am never trendy I wanted to jump on that bandwagon and see what it feels like. So last night I watched the latest Netflix original, Carry-On. After it was over I felt better about not being trendy. 

Taron Egerton, Jason Bateman

Starring Jason Bateman, who I love even when he's just standing there breathing, I figured it would be great. I figured wrong. Sadly, I'm over my Bateman-love. Alas, all things must end, and I was happy when this movie finally did. 

Carry-On is a Die Hard rip-off from start to finish, only it's set in an airport and there's no Bruce Willis or Allen Rickman or those muscular blonde foreign guys running around. In contrast, this film's supporting cast is pretty lightweight, although I learned later that young people celebrate the lead actor, Taron Egerton, who has been in several movies including Rocketman, playing Elton John. While he might be cute and do well in light fare, he cannot act convincingly in a drama. However I do commend him for not falling through any of the script's gaping loopholes.

The plot is unbelievable and stale: It's Christmas Eve at LAX and a very bad man (Bateman) is determined to get a bomb filled with nerve gas onto a plane and kill everyone on board. There is some sort of political motive attached, but even though my husband and I went back and watched the explanation of it twice, with subtitles on, we still didn't get it. (Not important.) TSA agent Ethan Kopek (Egerton), on his first day at the luggage-screening machine, has his head virtually hijacked when he is given instructions through an earpiece mysteriously delivered to him from a man dressed like an ordinary street bum (Bateman). 

There's lots and lots of talk. Yada, yada, yada, blow up the plane. If Ethan doesn't let the bomb go through security, Bateman or one of his goons who see all through remote cameras will kill Ethan's girlfriend (Sofia Carson). She is newly pregnant so that means two murders and double the number of tissues needed. Yada, yada, yada, the bomb is on a timer and there's only 10 seconds left to deactivate it before EVERYONE DIES A SLOW AND HORRID DEATH CHOKING ON THEIR OWN BLOOD. Count with me now: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 ....... Phew, that was close! 

You get the idea.