I Don't Wanna Be Woke

Chris vs. an Indigenous Person

In a few weeks my husband and I are going on a mini-holiday to celebrate our 34th wedding anniversary, which falls on Columbus Day Weekend. You remember Christopher Columbus, that Italian explorer who supposedly sailed the ocean blue in 1492 and discovered America? Well, I just read about an upcoming event planned for Indigenous Peoples' Weekend, and guess what? It's that very same weekend.

Turns out that in some cities and states in America, there is no Columbus Day, which there has been since 1934. One of those is our nation's capitol, where the DC Council voted to replace it with Indigenous Peoples' Day. Several other cities, such as Seattle, did the same. In South Dakota and Oklahoma it's called Native American Day, just to make things more confusing. Here in Maine, it's IPD. Still, I'm sticking with Chris, that guy I made a diorama about in the fourth grade.

Call me unwoke, but I will never utter the words Indigenous Peoples' Weekend, or Indigenous Peoples' Day or even Indigenous Peoples' Hour. I can barely spell indigenous and hardly know what it means, although I have an inkling it's got something to do with a group of people who had their blood spilled at the hands of the evil white man hundreds of years ago and are currently responsible for the Redskins becoming The Washington Football Team.

Don't wake me.