Trump and I Are Twins

Donald Trump and I are similar in several ways. First of all, we are both the same age, almost exactly: born just nine days after me he is also a Gemini, no small thing. It means we have two separate personalities, one better than the other but both quite dependable, although one of them lies like a dog when necessary. ("Sorry we can't make it, my aunt died." "This brisket is cooked to perfection." "The crowds at my Inauguration were bigger than Obama's.") Secondly, we both color our hair so as not to go grey and thus appear younger. And third, we are both very smart and capable yet deemed to be idiots by the very people who allow us to make all kinds of important decisions for them. (So who's stupid?)

For example, I pay all our bills. (Yeah, yeah -- with the money he earns.) This includes the mortgage, both cars, heat, water, garbage pick-up, credit cards, doctors, dentists, insurance, internet, cell phones, cable, lawn service and plowing. I also make our charitable donations. Mitch never checks my work; he just assumes it's all been done correctly, which it has.

Last week I reserved a property on Airbnb for an October weekend with dear friends. I did it all by myself, like a big girl. In fact, like the same big girl who has arranged almost all of our accommodations for trips to Europe, Canada and here in the US for the past 33 years, which is many. Yet today, when I mentioned that a confirmation of our upcoming Airbnb stay had not arrived, despite my clicking RESERVE NOW, Mitch immediately concluded I "must have done it wrong."

Wasting no time to take charge, he insisted he should make the reservation properly since I had fucked it up. This offended me on several fronts: as a woman, as a Jew, and as the one who pays for every frickin' thing we do, buy or use. Anyway, after much ado about nothing it all got fixed, and without his help. But still -- it wasn't until Mitch got an email from Airbnb saying the trip was BOOKED that he believed I did it right.

I may be obnoxious but I'm not stupid, addled or evil. This is yet another way that I am like Donald Trump, and perhaps the most important thing for voters to keep in mind.