Thursday, February 27, 2020

Worst Case Scenario, President-wise

Okay, so Bernie Sanders and his running mate Elizabeth Warren win the election in November. People all over America are happy and celebrating, even many Republicans who are weary of Trump Derangement Syndrome infecting every media outlet imaginable besides FOX News and Breitbart.

Flash forward to January 2021: Right smack dab in the middle of his Inauguration, at the age of 79, Sanders suffers another heart attack. He is rushed off the podium and dies later that day, whence Elizabeth Warren is sworn in as president. But who wants her? Not so many people. In fact, in a bold Jack Ruby-like move, a disgusted citizen pushes through the crowd during her acceptance speech and shoots her. The wound is fatal, making Nancy Pelosi president.

It could happen. Not saying it will or that I want it to, because Bernie is a nice guy, if a bit curmudgeonly, and a Jew to boot. For me, a Brooklyn-born Jew, having him as president would be as comforting as a big bowl of matzoh ball soup. (As for Warren, feh.) But considering the fact that 78 is the average life expectancy of an American man in 2020, an excitable 79-year-old heart attack survivor given to constant outbursts of temper may not be the wisest choice as the leader of our government.

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