1. I get out of bed in the morning to drink coffee. It is my main motivation.
2. People who don't drink coffee cannot be trusted. What's wrong with them?
3. I take my coffee black and immediately like people who do the same.
4. People who add cream and sugar to their coffee are not adults. They are having a baby drink, which BTW adds hundreds of calories to their diets over time.
5. If a doctor told me I had to stop drinking coffee I would get a new doctor.
6. Patrons of Starbucks who order specialty drinks like Spiced Pumpkin Lattes or Chai Tea Mochas or God Knows What Double Frappuccinos are posers.
7. I prefer American coffee to coffee in any foreign country I have visited, including all of Europe, Canada and Haiti.
8. Coffee does not keep me up at night.
9. Decaf coffee is almost always gross and instant coffee is truly despicable.
10. Coffee should always be brewed using freshly ground beans.
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