This is a bulletin for all those people living in the tri-state New York area: Lock your doors, there's a felon on the loose! He may come bursting into your house any minute and try to write a check, or worse, hand you an invoice.
I am speaking of Donald Trump, the former president, who was convicted of being a felon yesterday. Joe Biden shuffled up to a microphone today and alerted the public, calling Trump "dangerous" and "unhinged." The convicted felon Trump was convicted on 34 counts. Just so you can be ready for him, these are the details of his dastardly crimes:
He wrote 11 checks to his former lawyer, Michael Cohen.
He received 11 invoices from the same man.
There were 12 suspicious entries in Trump's business ledgers.
In case he doesn't get sent to prison and is out roaming the streets, be sure to hide all your pens, checkbooks and writing papers of any kind. In fact, better lock your desk drawers and your offices. You never know when he will strike again.
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