Why I Won't Be Running for President

Mayor Bowser spent $270,000 refurbishing the Black Lives Matter street mural. 

There was a time when I thought it mattered, but I no longer care who is "president." As far as I can tell, anyone who seeks the office is certifiably nuts from the get-go. First of all you have to live in Washington, which has turned into a racist hellhole since NotReallyPresident Biden took office and DC Mayor Muriel Bowser defaced the main drag downtown with her Black Lives Matter paint job. But that's another story.

Imagine spending your days surrounded by armed guards in suits and ties and with little squiggly things coming out of their ears, who never smile, at least not on the job. (I dated a Secret Service guy for awhile who was a hoot on his days off.) Also, you hardly have any down time, except for Joe Biden who is always down, but again, he is not really the president. Actual presidents are always in the public eye, their tiniest misstep plastered on the front page of the New York Post. You have to get dressed nicely every day -- certainly as President you cannot go to the post office to pick up your mail wearing PJs and slippers, something I do here in Maine, where I look like everyone else in their LLBean attire. (My PJs are plaid.) 

I know, you're thinking, "But Andrea, the President doesn't have to pick up his mail. Someone gets it for him." Okay, admittedly that would be nice; I do so enjoy it when my husband gets the mail. Also, that private plane with a shower on board and lots of free coffee and probably even a Caesar salad if you ask nicely are definite perks. And never having to go food shopping. But none of that outweighs the threat of assassination, and despite those guys I mentioned earlier hovering about, it could happen. (And has.)

To some, “heroine” seems to imply that “hero” is the norm and “heroine” a secondary variation. They think “shero” is the perfect feminine equivalent of “hero,” even though the “he” in “hero” has nothing to do with maleness.

Worst of all, everyone gets mad at you for things outside your control. Like in Israel, now many of Bibi Netanyahu's former supporters have turned on him for not yet getting all the hostages freed. At the same time, they hold him responsible for the deaths of so many enemy civilians, even though the only way to get the hostages out is through them. What's a President to do?

So all this hoopla and rigamarole over the upcoming election seems like a waste of time and money to me, since the winner will just be another self-indulgent nut job. Until normal, everyday people win elections, things will remain the same. For example, last night I watched a Netflix documentary about 9/11 in which Congresswoman Barbara Lee (D., Cal.) lauded the brave "heroes and sheroes" who entered the burning buildings to save lives. Fact is, of the 343 firefighters who died on 9/11, none were female. Besides, a hero can be any gender -- jeez Barbara, look it up.