I recently saw a disturbing video posted online that has stuck in my brain, like a song you hear that you can't stop playing over and over in your head until you want to scream. It wasn't a monster video, or one depicting the horrors of war, or even a clip from an adolescent comedy starring Will Ferrell. Oddly enough, it was a homemade video showing a recipe for a dessert, allegedly one that is "quick and easy" and "very delicious." Sounded promising, so I clicked.
The ingredients were appalling and I should have stopped there: 1 large bag of Ruffles potato chips, 1 large can of sweetened, condensed milk, 2 large bags of Tollhouse chocolate chips, and 1 large bottle of caramel sauce.
The chirpy young woman making the video instructed you (me) to crush the chips and spread them into a pie plate, then pour on some milk, add a bag of the chocolate chips, repeat the process and then bake it in the oven, and after it cools, cover the top completely with the caramel sauce. Then eat it, like a pie.
Only when she cut into it to get a slice, it all just mushed together like a big, messy pudding. I wondered, why go to all that trouble? Why not just pig out on potato chips and chocolate and milk and caramels? And of course then I wondered, why do that? Could this be a joke, one of those videos you see that go on forever and involve laundry soap and cake batter and sprinkles and glitter and you never see the end result? So I commented, "Looks gross, is this a joke?"
Judging by the return comments I received, and am still receiving, you'd think I had written, "Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!" The videographer was outraged that I could be so mean and heartless and unfeeling, not just to her but to everyone on the comment stream, a.k.a. "my viewers," who did not deserve to see such harsh words. You need therapy, she said. You must be mentally ill, she said.
I'm telling you, young people today are simply not ready for adulthood. Anyway, I keep seeing that mushy mess in my head. I might have to seek therapy.
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