SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE:
Thus far, 83 women have come forward to accuse Donald Trump of sexual assault. The cases vary in details but share key features:
All of the accusers are in their mid-to-late 70s and have kept quiet about the incident for 35 to 40 years.
The reason they never told the authorities was because they thought nobody would believe them, until suddenly, one day, they thought everyone would believe them. (Funny, huh?)
All of the assaults allegedly took place on airplanes, trains, boats, subways, in the produce department of Gristede's and in upscale, now defunct, Manhattan department store dressing rooms.
None of the accusers have enjoyed successful romantic relationships in the ensuing years due to being traumatized by Trump's unwanted kissing, groping, licking, fondling, grabbing, pushing and force-feeding of dry tuna sandwiches. (Not enough mayo.)
The press reports these stories to insure that Donald Trump will never be president again. Just remember, a vote for Trump is a vote for rape!
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