Our good friends at Whole Foods, at the behest of Jeff Bezos, the world's richest man, have posted an article online about the "ten next big food trends for 2020." Apparently anyone who wants to be cool, stay informed, be socially responsible and avoid being a dork will run right out to their closest Whole Foods outlet and buy these products. Is Uncle Jeff being helpful or just self-serving? Gee, I dunno, what do you think?
Let me help. Anyone with half a brain, and I mean no disrespect to people who actually have only half a brain and my heart goes out to them (seriously), knows that the list is all about getting more money into the the cash registers at Whole Foods. It's quite a ploy, and one I might try here myself. Following is my list of the Five Self-Improvement Trends for 2020.
1. Invest in art. Oil paintings retain their value the most. Works by fabulous seasoned artists that are still affordable include mine. Check them out at: https://www.andrearoudapainter.com/
2. Sharpen your wits. Since the apocalypse is surely coming, it's time to sharpen your innate talents. Make shoes out of animal hide, start a fire without matches, cook without a stove, recognize which wild things are edible and which could kill you, make hunting weapons from twigs and fashion eating implements from forest growth. Take classes from my son today: https://www.rewildmaine.org/upcoming
3. Get a daily dose of humor. Scientific studies prove that laughter wards off disease, so it's best to stop reading the grim news of the day and start reading The Daily Droid, which offers a humorous look at the horrors of modern life. Since you are reading this, you already know the address.
4. Read a book. This one is a hoot, so it helps with that daily dose of humor:
https://www.amazon.com/Shrink-Rapt-Andrea-Rouda/dp/1595710213/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=shrink+rapt+andrea+rouda&qid=1572192992&sr=8-1
5. Tell your life story before you die. If you can't write, no worries -- just hire a ghost writer! You'll need an experienced scribe offering reasonable rates and quick turnaround, since you never know. Contact andreajrouda@aol.com
Let me help. Anyone with half a brain, and I mean no disrespect to people who actually have only half a brain and my heart goes out to them (seriously), knows that the list is all about getting more money into the the cash registers at Whole Foods. It's quite a ploy, and one I might try here myself. Following is my list of the Five Self-Improvement Trends for 2020.
1. Invest in art. Oil paintings retain their value the most. Works by fabulous seasoned artists that are still affordable include mine. Check them out at: https://www.andrearoudapainter.com/
2. Sharpen your wits. Since the apocalypse is surely coming, it's time to sharpen your innate talents. Make shoes out of animal hide, start a fire without matches, cook without a stove, recognize which wild things are edible and which could kill you, make hunting weapons from twigs and fashion eating implements from forest growth. Take classes from my son today: https://www.rewildmaine.org/upcoming
3. Get a daily dose of humor. Scientific studies prove that laughter wards off disease, so it's best to stop reading the grim news of the day and start reading The Daily Droid, which offers a humorous look at the horrors of modern life. Since you are reading this, you already know the address.
4. Read a book. This one is a hoot, so it helps with that daily dose of humor:
https://www.amazon.com/Shrink-Rapt-Andrea-Rouda/dp/1595710213/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=shrink+rapt+andrea+rouda&qid=1572192992&sr=8-1
5. Tell your life story before you die. If you can't write, no worries -- just hire a ghost writer! You'll need an experienced scribe offering reasonable rates and quick turnaround, since you never know. Contact andreajrouda@aol.com
Now I know what I want for Christmas, your book LOL
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