Film Review: POMS

Rhea Perlman, Pam Grier, Diane Keaton and Jackie Weaver. Oy vay.

When I got married 32 years ago I didn't realize I would be spending so much time alone. Not that I got married for the company, but still, you like to see your spouse every now and again. My husband has always traveled quite a bit for his work, and it seems he's gone more than ever now that we live in Maine and it takes two planes to get anywhere from here.

One of the worst things about Mitch being gone is that evenings are mine to fill, and not being much of a social butterfly I spend them at home. When I had a dog I wasn't really alone, but now that I'm down to one cat who prefers to roam our woods looking for things to stalk, pester and, worst case, kill, it's pretty much just me. So, to fill a few hours I turn to a deadly habit I have yet to kick: watching movies on TV that my husband would never agree to watch. You know, chick-flicks and rom-coms. It's a mixed bag: When they're good it's a satisfying way to spend an evening. But when they're bad, it causes remorse. Last night I watched one that caused a lot of remorse. 

POMS stars Diane Keaton as Martha, a woman dying of cancer who decides, while she is dying of cancer, to stop all treatment and leave New York City where she has lived for 46 years, in the same apartment mind you, sell all her stuff and drive to Georgia to live in a tacky little furnished house in a senior citizen gated community where everyone drives golf carts and wears cardigans and golf shoes. "I've come here to die," she tells the community's Manager upon her arrival. (She might have added, "and I'm taking my career with me.")

Really? We are supposed to believe that someone would do that? In all those 46 years, surely she made some friends. And she looks exactly like Diane Keaton, after all, so she was once young and very beautiful, and still looks pretty good despite being at Death's Door. (Still with the Annie Hall wardrobe at 73.) What -- no old boyfriends in her life? Nobody gives a shit that she's dying? She leaves behind all her doctors? Oh please.

Anyway, in Sunshine Acres or whatever it was, Martha starts a cheerleading club for some of the other old gals. (I mean, who wouldn't? You're in your end days, why not do something totally out of the box, especially since pretty soon you'll be in one.) There are the usual old people jokes about indigestion, knee replacements and broken hips. One gal ends up in a wheelchair after breaking her ankle from just walking too fast. Every so often -- more and more as the movie and the cancer progress, and sometimes during cheerleading rehearsals -- we get to watch Martha slump over a toilet to throw up. I felt like doing the same when I realized the only reason Keaton accepted this role is because no others are being offered to her.

She died, I cried, it was stupid. I can't wait for Mitch to get home.