Lesbians Urinating on Satyrs

What would Leonardo think?

Every two years since 1998, the Portland Museum of Art has mounted an exhibition called the Biennial, which means "taking place every other year," in case you didn't know. The show is always a good time because it includes the absolute ugliest art they can find. It's all supposed to be seen as cutting-edge and cool, like what you might find in New York or LA. This year is no exception, and in fact hits a new low.

Things are bad right off the bat. Entering the exhibition, the unsuspecting museum-goer is immediately assaulted by two huge, and I mean huge, paintings of women, one black and one white, that stretch from floor to ceiling. Both are sloppily executed depictions of lesbians. We know this because the mannish-looking woman in one of the paintings wears a t-shirt emblazoned with the words EAT PUSSY FOR MENTAL HEALTH, which is also the title of the work.

The local paper employs an art critic, Daniel Kany, who aspires to be taken seriously despite the fact that he's writing for the local paper. (Yes, I'm bitter: he once wrote that my work "can't decide if it's art or decoration." He is dead wrong! In fact, I have spoken at length with my work and it definitely has decided that it is art, but feels that all art is decoration.)

While Dan thinks the entire show is "quite handsome," he doesn't like the two giant lesbian paintings, and here's what he said about them: "Dufresne is quite well-known for her ability to sling the paint around the canvas, but as paintings, these are duds. Considering the exciting stuff she does (like lesbians and satyrs urinating on each other) and how well she can paint, these feels like studio leftovers."