Eight People and One Gecko I Want Gone

A couple of years ago, in this very space, I wrote about how much I hated Keith Olbermann and wished he were dead. There I said it, even though I never said it in the first place. Anyway, that blog post catapulted me to infamy. An infamy, mind you, that has not helped me one bit but actually has harmed me in more ways than I even know, thanks to Google. Anway, not since then have I had 1,000 readers of anything I have ever written. I wonder--if I listed all the other people I wish were dead, would that get as much attention--or was it just Keith Olbermann, that most hated and hateful talking head of TV news, who inspired so much je ne sais quoi.

Anyway, while I wait for the paint stripper to work its magic on the table I am currently refinishing out in the garage, I present to you the complete and total inventory of the famous people I wish would disappear from the public eye, just like Keith did:
1. Rachel Maddow--self-righteous dyke extraordinaire
2. Piers Morgan--why is he even in this country?
3. The talking gecko on GEICO ads--again, not even American
4. That slutty Judge Jeanine Pirro--she's a judge but she's a slut
5. Chris Matthews--totally mad
6. Conan O'Brien-- besides the big red hair, boring
7. Tina Fey--not remotely funny ever
8. Jenifer Hudson--enough already with the Weight Watchers
9. Charlie Sheen--being Martin Sheen's son is the best thing about him

That's all. Just those nine people. That's not too bad. It's not even ten.