Oy, You Should Live So Long

America loves a good fried chicken....

Just in case you've been thinking, "Hey, life in these United States is not all it's cracked up to be," rest assured--you're right. Turns out we are low man/woman on the totem pole when it comes to life expectancy as compared to 16 other countries. All I have to say on the subject is, "Oy, vay is mere and gutten himmel." Loosely translated from yiddish, that means "Jesus Christ are we in trouble!" Not only have we slipped to second place as the fattest nation, which was at least something, we now have to face the fact that people are living longer in places other than here. This is all over the news today, but just in case you were in a coma earlier--and you might very well have been if you live in America-- our collective health is worse than that of every other country you can name except for the ones you see in those heart-wrenching UNICEF ads.

I for one am shocked and dismayed, since I thought at the very least that tolerating our stupid sitcoms and rampant advertising and horrible politics assured us of good health and a long life if only we stayed away from the Haagen-Dazs and fried chicken. But no, apparently not. "The U.S. health disadvantage is pervasive--it effects all age groups up to 75, and is observed for multiple diseases, biological and behavioral risk factors, and injuries," according to this report that's circulating from the National Research Council and Institute of Medicine.

Now I really want to move to another country, and quick. Certainly before the next election cycle pitting Jeb Bush vs. Hilary Clinton, they should both live so long.