I Hate Flo

I know what you're thinking: Hate is such a strong word. And then too, you might also be thinking, Flo is not a real person. But still, I hate her.

In case you are some holier-than-thou type who never watches TV and never looks at the Internet, which you couldn't be because then you wouldn't be reading this, but just in case--Flo is that stupid, silly, fictional salesgirl cooked up by some stoned ad executives who lucked into the Progressive Insurance account years ago. Her ads play day and night. She wears too much lipstick, her hair is weirdly ugly, and if you ask me, she is ugly. Her parents must be mortified--"Yes, it's true, our daughter is Flo, the Progressive Insurance girl"--except she is probably paying their mortgage and maybe even bought them a yacht with her earnings. Here's my question: How does she do it? Is she proud of her accomplishments? Is that why she became an actress? And what does it all have to do with car insurance?

Besides dominating TV, where I venture less and less often but still do go once in awhile to catch the weather or the breaking news, Flo is now online too, where I spend a lot of time writing and waste a lot of time playing Words With Friends, so I can't avoid her without completely altering my life. And living up here in Maine with few close ties, on some days my Words With Friends friends are all I got! (I know that's grammatically incorrect, but there for emphasis.)

I hate Flo. Make her stop, please, somebody. (No, I am not calling for her assassination.)