Coffee, tea, or who the heck knows.....

A full-page ad in today's Wall Street Journal, which likely costs way more than an arm and a leg and may involve part or all of a torso, promises that in just three days, Starbucks will rock our world. The headline shouts, "The newest thing in coffee tastes nothing like coffee." What? Huh? How could that be? Lower down on the page it says "Rethink, Refresh, Re-Energize. July 10, 2012." The tippy-top of the company's logo appears below that. It doesn't say Starbucks anywhere. No need.

As a devout coffee drinker I am admittedly intrigued, even though I never liked Starbucks coffee and have always agreed with my friend Martha who right off the bat called it "Charbucks" because of its somewhat burned flavor. But stuck in the car on long road trips or while navigating around a strange city, the sight of that green logo offers a welcome feeling of familiarity, and I've been known to indulge in more than a few "skinny" lattes in my day. Still, it's just coffee to me, not dessert. Yet they have strayed deeper into that territory every year, now offering things like Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino (480 calories) and Double Chocolatey Chip Creme Frappuccino (410 calories) along with their ice cream, scones, cakes, pies, cookies, tortes, tarts, croissant sandwiches, paninis, biscottis and the like. In fact, I am betting that many tubbies can trace their obesity to a local Starbucks outlet--after all, it's just coffee, how could it be fattening?

So now I am on the edge of my seat wondering what they've got planned. What could taste nothing like coffee but be the newest thing in coffee?  I asked Mitch what he thought. He too was stymied, and offered the possibility that it could taste like hair spray or maybe lawn furniture, just two of the things that taste nothing like coffee. The mind boggles.