"Hello out there in radioland, and welcome to 'Drive Time Drivel with Roto Rouda.' If you have a burning question and want to be on the show, call us at 1-800-566-7899, that's 1-800-566-7899. We'll be happy to take your call and we are waiting for you right now, at 1-800-566-7899. Now to our first caller, let's all say hi to Patty Ann from Ann Arbor, Michigan. Hi Patty Ann. Are you there Patty? Hello? Patty Ann? Well, she must have been called away. Let's go to our next line, Todd from Bridgeport, Connecticut. Come in, Todd.""Yes, hi Roto, first I'd like to say thank you for taking my call."
"No problem. What's your drivel?"
"Well, I wondered if you think it's true that a watched pot never boils, because I was watching a pot of water this morning while I was making breakfast--I like them soft-boiled eggs--and it boiled pretty fast even though I stood there watching the whole time. Actually it boiled too fast, because they came out a little harder than I like them---"
"You know Todd, that's damn good drivel and an astute observation. I guess the old adage is wrong. Thanks for the call. Now, before we take another call at 1-800-566-7899, I'd like to take just a minute to tell you about a wonderful product I use every day, it's great for this time of year, it's Mosquito Madness, just one spray and bugs stay away. You can find it anywhere they sell it. Remember to ask for it by name: Mosquito Madness. Now, let's say hello to Sue in Tampa, Florida. Hi Sue, what's your drivel?"
"Hi Roto, thanks for taking my call. This is my first time and I'm a little nervous."
"Just relax Sue, and tell us what unimportant garbage occupies that space between your ears. Millions of listeners stuck in traffic and housewives stuck at home with the kids are bored silly and eager to mock your inane question."
"Well, I was wondering whatever happened to Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann who were running for office, and now it's just that one guy Mitt Romney? It seems like politics is back to being all men again, and I don't like it. At least with Sarah and Michelle we got to see new hairstyles and makeup. And shoes and nails and stuff. And clothes. Now what are we women supposed to do? I mean, where are our role models?"
"Good drivel, Sue. I suppose that's what the First Lady is for, and you know that Michelle Obama is quite the fashion plate. In fact, you can check her out on any of a hundred magazine covers. And remember, Hillary Clinton is still running around out there trying to look girlish, and despite those extra pounds, with her long blond hair and ruffly blouses she's doing one heck of a convincing job."
"I guess so. But still, I miss Sarah and Michelle. It's just not fair. Anyway, thank you."
"I understand your frustration Sue, we all miss those two, they sure were fun to watch. Now before we get to more drivel at 1-800-566-7899, I'd like to fill you in on a cool way to stay cool this summer, with a personal fan called Mr. Mister. Ladies, believe it or not it's small enough to fit in your purse. And you men out there, just slip one in your pocket and don't be surprised if some woman comes up to you and asks, 'Is that a Mr. Mister in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?' Now for our next caller, and if you want to be on the show remember our number is 1-800-566-7899. That's 1-800-566-7899. But first, a quick word from our sponsor..."
what the hell? i don't get it.
ReplyDeletebut I would love to have a talk show on the radio.
I used to listen to Larry King on the mutual radio.
what was that, mutual?