The Republicans Made Him Do It

Unemployment, bad economy, global warming, rising fuel costs, falling home prices, earthquakes, floods, whatever--someone must be held accountable, but it's certainly not me and it sure as hell isn't Obama! In fact, it's probably because of the friggin' Republicans and George W. Bush and maybe Rush Limbaugh and FOX News. That's the American way...

"I'm fat, but that's society's fault, what with all those ads for fast food and all those pizza joints in strip malls and candy and nachos and hot dogs and now freakin' bowls of chili at the movies, and they even serve french fries and corn dogs in school cafeterias so my kids are fat too!"

"Hey, wait a minute, I'm an alcoholic, but of course it's a disease I can't help myself, I was born this way, and you're not helping by pushing beer in my face every time I turn on the TV or go to a party."

"Well just hold on there, I have cancer and heart disease and it's because of cell phones and aerosol sprays poking holes in the ozone layer and your second-hand smoke, I never did one thing to bring any of this on myself, okay so my arteries are clogged from all the fat I eat and I lie around all day and never get any exercise, but hey, who doesn't?"

Have a nice day!